Pumpkin Patch with my Pumpkins
“You will go to the Pumpkin Patch and you will have a damn good time!” I yell at my son who is now telling me he doesn’t want to go to the Pumpkin Patch because his
friends are outside playing.
“You can play with them when we get home! Rides, games,
animals, pumpkins, junk food….seriously you should be
begging me to go!” I tell my pouting son.
I get the kids all ready to go and by this time I am profusely sweating! Why did I take a shower? What is the point? I have the diaper bag, the jackets, a binkie, a stroller, I think I am good.
I walk inside to grab Lillie and Seth thinks he is funny “Lillie pooped,” he yells!
He better damn well change her.
I am running around like a crazy person.
He can help me and change the darn poop!
He is already on his way to change Lillie before I even utter a word.
You see Seth knows HOW HARD it is for me to get out of the house
so he really does his best to help!
Phew! We are all in the car and ready to go!
It ALWAYS feels like such a great accomplishment.
I give myself a mental pat on the back every time I get out of the house.
Lillie at one years old still hates the car. Unless she is asleep she tends to be bitching to get out of the car.
I decide to start singing the wheels on the bus and we all sing to Lillie. It actually works and Lillie is now giggling instead of crying!
Seth pays for our admission, and in we go.
Oh wait, we have to go through the Pumpkin Patch store to get to the Patch.
Very helpful Pumpkin People! Thanks a lot!
Now Max is screaming to buy him this and that in the Pumpkin Patch store.
Seth keeps saying, “We can buy it on the way out.”
As if he’s really going to be in the mood to spend any more money on the way out.
I drag Max out of the store and he starts screaming to see all the animals.
“Don’t touch anything!” I am feeling my germ phobia kick in
as I watch my kids head to touch all the dirty farm animals!
“You are such an indoor girl,” My husband declares.
“Excuse me?” Wrong thing to say to this summer worshipper.
I cringe but I let the kids feed the animals! Yuck!
We head straight to the hand sanitizer and then we are off to get them a snack.
Yes, they want to eat already! Are you surprised?
This one wants popcorn, this one wants frozen chocolate covered cheesecake on a stick, then this one wants lemonade!
“For the love of God slow down so I can get one thing at a time.”
Seth saves the table for us, but appears to be spending all of his time trying to swat bees with the admission program.
The cheesecake was a big hit by the way. We passed it around to all of us and Lillie looked in awe of what she was eating!
My head is spinning but we make it through snacks and defending ourselves from lots of bees!
It is October but it is an unseasonably hot day and we are all sweating.
I dressed us all totally wrong, so we are all over heated.
Here I thought it would be a great day to go!
It is nice out and the Buffalo Bills are playing so lots of people will be watching football!
Wrong! The place is packed and Seth is giving me that look of “how much longer do I have to suffer?” We haven’t even been here that long!
The kids pass the face painting deciding the line is way too long! Phew!
Got out of waiting in that long line!
They want to go on a hay ride.
Oh look, it’s right near by, Hallelujah!
Oh wait, no such luck. That’s not the hay ride, that’s the wagon ride. Are they kidding me?
The wagon ride costs extra money but the hay ride doesn’t. These people are unreal.
We now have more walking to do to get to the hay ride.
Seth is not happy. Neither is Lillie, and I can’t decide if Lillie is going to make it through a hay ride.
We walk and walk and walk until we find the line. Another long line, oh joy!
What are all these people doing in my line! Don’t they have better things to do?
The kids have no patience and they don’t want to wait in this line either.
Ella tells us she wants to go on a tiny short hay ride.
I explain that once she gets on she has to stay on till the end and she wants nothing to do with it. Well, lets look at the bright side. I am certainly getting some exercise walking all over this place.
Max now sees the pumpkin launcher and he is off to launch pumpkins. This was a hit! Ella cheered Max on and Lillie giggled the whole time. Bonus was that the line was short!
Games, rides, playground, at this point Seth, and I are wondering if this will ever end.
We both LOVE taking our children to do fun things and yet we find ourselves overstimulated.
Max and Ella decide to play some games and waste our money. This always drives Seth nuts!
You see, in his non-existent spare time he is a professional magician.
So he never shuts up about how each game is rigged so you can’t really win.
Don’t even get him started on how we have to waste $6 in games to win a toy that we could get from Oriental Trading for fifty cents (but he never seems to actually buy the kids any of the toys. He just likes to bitch about it).
He does this at every carnival, so I have just gotten in the habit of tuning him out.
I see how much fun they have so I keep handing out money for more games to win more shit that we don’t need!
I see Seth’s face begin to change shades to red.
I see the warning signs. Daddy is going to blow people!
“Lets stop playing games and move on to something else,” I tell my kids as I begin dragging them away. Ok, crisis averted. I stopped the children from playing crappy games and winning crappy stuff that I end up throwing away anyway.
More drinks, more snacks! Are they kidding me? Didn’t we JUST feed them?
We head to the bakery and look around. The kids are staring at all of the candy. Somehow we made it out with little lollipops for each of them. That was not an easy task!
Max and Ella are now screaming for pumpkins. We settle for some pictures in the front of the pumpkins. Max is trying to hold Lillie in the pictures and Lillie is screaming! The kids aren’t smiling in
any of the pictures but by this point who the hell cares!
“We want to buy pumpkins,” Max and Ella are chanting to us! “We have pumpkins,” I remind them. Apparently our pumpkins aren’t good enough because they are from the grocery store! Oh well!
Seth declares “lets go!” I drag them kicking and screaming because we didn’t get to
the playground or rides. “Another day!” Seth and I say in unison.
I am eyeing all the beautiful mums as we walk out but I don’t dare say a word about buying any. I remember there is a beautiful pumpkin stake I wanted to buy in the store but I keep my mouth shut. I see the exit and I am almost home free. Do not stop, do not stop, head straight to the car!
The kids are in the car. The stroller is in the car. We did it. We exited the Pumpkin Patch. Once again I find myself giving myself a mental pat on the back for getting us all back in the car! Amazing what an accomplishment that always feels like to me on a daily basis.
I look at Seth “Wasn’t that fun?” I ask. “A ball,” Seth sarcastically says as he heads for home. Another adventure in the books!