I have an Addiction

By Rebecca Greene

I have an addiction. I need to confess something. I have been keeping this inside for way too long.

Seth has been helping me cover this up! I need to get this off of my chest.

As a social worker I know the first step is to admit you have a problem!

Hi, my name is Rebecca, and I am a people pleaser!

I know there are a lot of you who are going to relate to this one!

I want everyone in my life to be happy with me and with each other!

The peace maker in high school who went on to be a social worker!

People ask me about what I was like as a teenager or as a child.
Did you give your parents a hard time? Ha!
I laugh and think about how I always wanted my parents to be happy and proud of me!
I was focused on that! I wanted to make their life as easy as possible. G-d forbid I ruffled any feathers!

The people pleaser goes on to get married and have children and the addiction continues!
I get lost in the whirlwind of my day and making my family happy!

I make sure my family is fed! “Didn’t I just give them breakfast?”
I make sure they are all happy! “You want a $75 new wii game? Okay honey, I will talk to daddy!”
I fix toys! “You broke this for the 50th time? Ok, I will glue it again and again!”
You lost your Barbie? “Don’t worry I will look for it again even though I tell you every day to keep her in the same spot!”

Max wants to invite friends over! ” You want ten friends over and I just cleaned? Ok Max!”
I try to do errands without my kids. “You want to go to two different places to avoid grocery shopping? Okay kids! I don’t mind running around!”

I turn off reality tv and check in with my husband. “I haven’t had a moment to myself all day but Seth what can I do for you now?”
I repair cuts scrapes bruises and kiss all their boo boo’s. “You got hurt wrestling after I told you to stop? It’s ok, come here honey!”
Your glasses are dirty again? “Okay honey, let me clean them again!”
You want to nurse again!? “I haven’t eaten or drank anything yet today but let me nurse you again!”

I listen to all their problems and empathize and problem solve. “You guys can’t learn to be nice to each other?
Ok let me listen again to who did what and try to help!”  Can’t you freaking work out your own damn shit?

I help with homework. “How is this kindergarten homework that I don’t understand?”
I cook meals. “Really didn’t I just give you lunch?”
I do their laundry. “Stop wearing clothes!”
I run them to activities. “Who signed you up for all this crap?”

I help my husband with work stuff. “Oh yes honey I have plenty of time to make work calls for you!”
My friend needs to see me! “Sure of course, any time!”
My friend wants me to join the school board! “Of course, I have so much extra time!”

The list goes on and on….
I sit down for a few seconds here and there and think “uh oh, did I eat anything?”
Oh yes, I ate Ella’s leftover mac and cheese!
That was when Seth called me from his lunch meeting eating salmon! Gggrrrrr!

The days fly by like a whirlwind and I lose myself in the fabulous chaos! I thrive on chaos and taking care of my family.

However, I look down at my nail polish half off and remember the days my nails looked beautiful.
I look in the mirror and see my roots growing in and wonder when the last time is I got my hair done. I look down at my thighs and scold myself as I need to take time to workout!

It is fabulous to take care of your family and friends but remember to schedule time for yourself!
How are you supposed to be a good mom and wife if you have nothing left to give!?
Don’t you deserve a damn manicure?

Oh and guess what? Not everyone is going to like you and it is ok!
Not everyone is going to be happy with you and it is ok!
When my son is 2 and decides to bite his “girlfriend” your friend may drop you and stop speaking to you!
When your son starts talking in sentences and your friends son is barely speaking she may become so jealous she can’t be around you!

That shit happens and you just move on and focus on the people who love you!
The older I get the less I care what people think! By the time I am forty maybe this addiction will be a thing of the past?

Today I am going to confess to the world and myself about my people pleasing addiction!
Today I am going to do something for myself!
I am going to sit here and do my nails and tomorrow I will make myself a hair appointment!
It’s a step! I need to be a good example for my kids! I want them to take good care of themselves!