I realized something when we were live doing my Vlog last Wednesday night – I tend to be rushing through things.
Rushing to get somewhere.
Rushing to finish something.
Rushing to cook dinner.
Rushing through my book to finish it.
Rushing through the grocery store.
Rushing through this blog because I have a huge list of things to do today……
Why is it that I am always rushing?
We know the first step to making positive changes is to identify my pattern. My pattern is that I rush through my day. Yesterday I spent hours and hours weeding. I worked as fast as I could because I wanted to make a huge dent in the weeds. My pool was ready, and I was wondering how I was going to invite anyone over swimming with the state of my backyard. I needed to work fast and efficiently so that I could whip my backyard into shape. What if I didn’t rush? How do I stop rushing?
I am going to begin with an area where I have found some success in slowing down. I realized that I was rushing through my mornings with my kids, so I decided to get up earlier. Getting up earlier has completely changed my mornings. I can slow down and not go at top speed to get everything done. I like having a lot of time to do something. I think I just answered my question – a step to slowing down is to make sure I allot enough time to do the assigned task.
I also realize that I need to be more grounded! When I was weeding yesterday, I could have actually paid attention to my hands in the dirt and the task at hand instead of rushing through it at top speed. I could pay attention to my feet on the ground. I can make eye contact with whoever is talking to me to help ground myself. I can slow my breathing and take deep breaths. I am slowing my breathing as I type right now. Grounding myself throughout my day can definitely be a positive step towards slowing down.
I can be more realistic in what I expect myself to accomplish in my day. I formed my schedule for today: I am going to write this, complete a podcast, run (see I said run which means rush) to the grocery store to get groceries. Stop to grab a gift on the way home. Unpack groceries. Cook dinner. Run (see I said run again) to my daughter’s flag football game. As I type this, I realize that I am even rushing through this schedule. I need to be realistic in what I can accomplish in a day, and I need to realize that:
I do tend to get it all done. I rush because I don’t think I have enough time, but I usually do. If I know that I usually have enough time and that it all gets done maybe I can slow down and breathe and enjoy the journey along the way.
Can I stop and smell the roses and enjoy the journey throughout my day? Can I realize that I am enjoying writing this and enjoy it instead of rushing through it at top speed? Can I realize that I was outside in the beautiful sun weeding all day and enjoy the sun? I need to stop and be present and smell the beautiful roses around me.
I tell my husband that he overbooks his days. I tell him that he needs to stop scheduling so many appointments in one day. Maybe I can take my own advice. How about scheduling NOTHING time. My friend asked me when I am going to have a couch day? She gave me that assignment back when Lillie went to kindergarten 8 years ago and I failed to do so. Scheduling some nothing time in my day will definitely slow me down. Especially if I don’t think I need to fill it with anything!
My husband told me that multi-tasking makes us dumb. It isn’t good for us. It makes our head spin and creates mind chaos. If we do one thing at a time and focus on it – it will slow our brains down. My friend texted me to call her and I said, “I’m doing three things right now and then I’ll call you.” Moms are really good at multi-tasking but what if we focus on one thing at a time? I think it could really help!
I have heard experts say to use time blocking to help us in our days. Time blocking is a time management method where you divide your day into chunks of time, and assign each block a specific task, activity, or type of work.
Instead of keeping a long to-do list and bouncing between tasks all day, you schedule when you’ll do each thing — so you focus on one task at a time with intention. I realize that I did this successfully today so hopefully it will slow me down!
My day:
6 – 9 am is the morning routine with my three kids.
9 am – 12 pm is to write my blog and answer my emails. Pool guy showed up and put a wrench in this, but I am still getting it all done!
12 – 1 pm is my podcast.
1 – 2 pm is errands.
2 – 3 pm is exercise hopefully!
3 – 5 pm is make dinner, have dinner with Max and Ella, head to the football game.
5- 7 pm is the football game.
7 – 10 pm is feeding Lillie, seeing what else needs to get done, tv and book time to wind down.
Planning my schedule for the day and having a set intention can help me from the spinning from task to task all day.
Building slowing down anchors in my day can help me. When I pick up my kids I either walk while I wait for them or I give myself time to relax in the car. At red lights I take deep breaths and slow myself down. Before bed I read my book and slow myself down. When I have lunch, I tell myself to sit down and take time to just eat and relax. Which leads me to:
Sitting down when we eat our food. I ate my lunch standing at the island yesterday. Don’t do that! Actually make yourself lunch, go sit down, and take time to enjoy it. I made my lunch, ate it quickly, and ran back outside to get back to work. Do the opposite of that!
It is good enough! The house is clean enough. The yard is weeded enough. The pool is clean enough. The blog is good enough. I don’t have to be perfect. Lowering my standards gives me less work to do which can lead to slowing down.
How do we wind down? One of my very favorite things to do is at the end of the day to climb into my bed with my book. I bring my book downstairs and have the intention every day to read it during the day. I can tell you that I rarely do. I need to schedule that into my day. I do however know that at the end of the day that my book and I have a slow down date in bed. I hope you have a wind down routine. It helps slow down our brain and get us to a calmer place. If I sit down with my book during the day I could have more winding down times. We also only have so much time in the day which leads me to my final thought:
I have plenty of time! I think of time as scarce. If I have the mindset that there isn’t enough time in the day, then I am creating a sense of needing to rush. If I change my mindset to – I have plenty of time, then I am going to feel very differently every day. My time scarcity mindset is part of the problem, and I have the power to change this as I type.
So slow down, mama.
Slowing down is a skill. It takes practice. Start with one step and build from there.
Sip the coffee (even if it’s reheated twice).
Hug a little longer.
Laugh at the spilled milk instead of losing it.
Sit on the floor and build Legos.
Watch the sunset instead of racing past it.
Because one day, the house will be quiet. The schedules will be clear. The chaos will be gone. And you’ll miss this — not the rush, but the magic you almost didn’t see.
Let’s not miss it. Let’s all slow down a little more today.
Laughing, Learning, Loving,
Rebecca Greene, LCSW-R
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