It’s amazing to me how I feel about my body now vs. how I felt about my body as a teenager and young adult. I have come a long way. If you search body image at Whinypaluza.com you will see a couple more blogs about this topic. My daughter Ella wrote her Teenage Tuesday column about ditching the scale. She has really worked on her body image and loving herself and she has come so far. I want my kids to have a better relationship with their bodies than I did at their age. How can we help our children love what they see reflected back at them.
Model Body Confidence
I am always going to start with you. They are modeling us. They are watching us. If you are looking in the mirror and commenting on how fat you look or how much cellulite you have, your children are going to do the same thing.
I want you to look in the mirror and say things like, “I look so good. Look at my strong beautiful legs.” Say it loud and proud in front of your kids and teach them this. They copy us – the good the bad the ugly.
Celebrate your awesome Body
As I walked three miles yesterday, I thanked my legs for taking me so far. I noticed how strong my body is to easily walk far. Let us teach our children how awesome our bodies are. Tell them, “Appreciate your legs for walking you all over today.” Tell them and show them how to love our bodies that do so much for us every day!
Stop Talking about Diets
Kids don’t need to hear about calories, carbs, or “good” vs. “bad” foods. What they do need is a healthy relationship with food. Let’s talk about how food fuels our bodies and helps us feel good. My daughter Lillie was just telling me that she thinks better and focuses better after a good meal. We can help our kids by talking about how all the foods are making us feel.
Watch Your Compliments
Let’s compliment our kids on being smart, creative, kind, funny, compassionate, etc. We don’t want to continuously compliment them on how they look. Our children are so much more than how they look. I tell my daughters that they are beautiful and what matters to me even more is how beautiful they are inside.
Encourage Movement for Fun
Daily exercise is so good for us and can be a lot of fun. We want to model for our children that we enjoy exercise. I tell my kids that my long walks make me feel so good. I talk about how exercise relieves my stress and clears my mind. I talk about how lifting weights makes me feel strong. We don’t want to tell our kids that we need to burn off the calories we ate or that we dread exercise. It can be as fun as dancing around the house. Make movement fun and show them that exercise is enjoyable in life.
Be Mindful of How You Talk About Others
We want our kids to hear us talking about people beyond how they look. We don’t want them to hear us value someone because of their hair, make-up or outfit. Let’s talk about people beyond their looks. “I love how hard I see your friend working. I love your grandma’s cooking. That was so thoughtful of your dad.” They are listening to what we value in people. My girls know that I am going to look at everyone’s nails and that I love getting my nails done. They also know I will never ever use the word fat.
Filters are False
Let us all make sure that our children are educated about what they are viewing online. So many people use filters. We don’t want them to think that things are real that are not. We also don’t want them to only see skinny people online. We want them to see on social media and television that people are all shapes and sizes. We don’t want them striving for something that is totally unrealistic.
Home Base
We help our children to become confident and to love themselves by being their home base. Create a loving and safe environment where your children know that they are valued and loved. Not for how they look but for who they are as a person.
There is nothing more motivating to me than my children. They inspired me to form a better relationship with my body. To show my self love and appreciation so that I can teach them how to do the same. The best thing we can do for our children is to love ourselves and treat ourselves with compassion and love. The next time you look in the mirror, I hope that you will smile at yourself and pass it on to your children.
Laughing, Learning, Loving,
Rebecca Greene, LCSW-R
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Whinypaluza Notes:
Whinypaluza Mom Group:
If you are looking for a supportive community, come join the free Whinypaluza Mom Facebook group. I created this as I wanted us to have a place where we can talk about tips, strengths and challenges we are having. It is another step I took to help everyone to know that you are not alone. Our June challenge was a lot of fun! Come jump in and join us and bring a friend with you! I love to give away prizes. This group is private so please find me on Facebook at Whinypaluza or Rebecca Greene and message me to ask for an invite. I’m also on Instagram @becgreene5 and @whinypaluza_mom. I am also on Tik tok @whinypaluzamom.
The Whinypaluza Schedule:
Whinypaluza Wednesdays: My weekly blog comes out every Wednesday. I am always open to your topic requests. A new Vlog (video blog) also comes out every Wednesday night on Facebook at 9:00 PM Eastern time to discuss the blog. If you would rather listen to a podcast than watch a Vlog, you can wait for the following Wednesday, and the Vlog is released on my Podcast.
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