Just a mom here who knows that December and Hanukkah are going to look very different this year. The only thing that we can absolutely count on is change. Life changes and we need to learn to ride the wave of change. This comes from someone who grew up not liking change. I learn more every year and accepting vs. resisting change is one of the many lessons I’ve learned along the way. I’m not going to tell you that I have mastered this skill. I am going to tell you that I have come a long way.
We ended November on a sad and scary note. After a wonderful week with our son, we headed to drop him off. I drove to school and it was smooth sailing. Thankfully, my husband drove home. Thank you, Seth! Not only did he deal with major traffic, but he also dealt with a ton of snow. Everyone was driving 30 mph on the thruway if that tells you anything. Slow and steady is what got us home safely. That was a sad and scary ride home. Let’s talk to the winter fairies about an easier ride next time!
I started December feeling the sadness set in, but I reminded myself that I would see him very soon for winter break. The good news is that he will be home for a month. The bad news is that he may find that boring. Thankfully Seth will give him work to do but please send me ideas. Staycations, vacations, whatever ideas you have for me. Max isn’t sure how this is going to go when Seth goes to work and the girls go to school. He’s going to be stuck home with me. I mean he is going to be blessed to have quality time with his mom. He can write a blog and do a podcast with me. I know how exciting that will be for him!
I am writing this on December 2nd, and I have only purchased one Hanukkah gift. The good news is that I am not twitching about this. The bad news is that I better get busy buying gifts. I just feel over all the stuff. I am usually so excited to buy my kids things. The girls have long lists of course, but Max has no idea what he wants. Again, I would love your ideas for gifts for a soon to be 19 year old young adult. I need vacation ideas and gift ideas. Please send them my way. I did suggest a vacation vs. gifts but my girls don’t ever like this idea. I know what you are thinking – who is in charge? I hear you!
Hanukkah starts on December 14th this year. Max will not be home yet. I said that we were going to wait to celebrate Hanukkah until Max came home and Lillie didn’t like that idea. I am rethinking my plan. I am also having trouble wrapping my mind around celebrating without him. The only thing we can guarantee is change and life changes and I need to change with it. I also think 8 nights of gifts is ridiculous and I am paring down. I don’t need to spend money on a ton of stuff. They already have a ton of stuff. Somehow Lillie never seems to have enough clothes, earrings, skin care, hair care or make up.
My friends are currently texting me to say that we should skip gifts and just get together. Less gifts = my entire motto this year. Part of this is that we have entered our paying for college parenting era. Part of this is that all of us have too many things. The gift of time together and experiences together are the greatest gifts that we can give.
I went through the phase of buying a ton of toys for my children. I would be calling Seth from Toys R us as I shopped during Hanukkah because I ran out of gifts. He would tell me that I bought enough and I would come home with more toys. My kids had so many toys. So many toys that I now need to clear out of the basement. Don’t worry, we have sold, donated and trashed a lot already. We still have a lot to go!
So, here I sit thinking about how different December will look.
Less is more is one of my themes of the month. Please remember that you don’t have to buy everyone a gift. They want your time. Most people in our lives want the gift of quality time with us.
Embrace change! We know that change is inevitable. Let’s all learn to ride this wave and learn to go with the flow of change. If Max won’t be home for five nights of Hanukkah – I can wait for him – I can start without him. There is no right or wrong answer. We have the blessing of face time, and we can face time with him and light the menorah together. I guess I should have gotten him an electric menorah. Let’s be honest here – he is a guy and he doesn’t want a menorah for his dorm room. Or does he? Maybe I will mail him one. Don’t tell him!
I am going to take December in stride. Put that crazy hectic overwhelmed mom away. Let’s do what makes us happy. Let’s not do what we feel obligated to do. Let’s ask family members to help us. Let’s see if we can get through this December less stressed!
Questions I hope every mom will ask herself:
What do I want to do?
What do I want to skip this year?
What will it take for me to feel less stressed this year?
Who can help me? What can I delegate?
How can I experience December in a better way this year?
What can I do less this year?
What do I want for myself during this holiday season? Don’t keep it a secret! Let your family and friends know. Have you noticed how many people aren’t shy about asking for what they want? Good for them. I want you to join those people in asking for what you want this year.
The good news is that if you have college kiddos, their winter break starts before Christmas. The bad news is that if you celebrate Hanukkah like I do, they are going to miss a big portion of Hanukkah. I want us all to focus on what we do have vs. what we don’t have. I will have Hanukkah time with Max. The days of 8 crazy nights together may have sailed away. That is ok. Life changes and I am learning that the 8 night ship may have sailed but there will still be three magical nights together.
I interviewed my friend Laura Brann on my podcast. She has two kids away at school. I interviewed her before Max went away so that I could learn from her. She told me that when your kids are home it is more quality time now. Now we treasure the time more. Now we may not have the quantity of time, but we can have the quality of time.
I hope that you are all gearing up for the holidays. I hope that all the magnificent mom magic makers can prepare for the holidays with less stress this season. How can December look different for you in a good way? I want to gently nudge you in the direction of less stress. You can experience December however you want to experience it. Find the joy and reject the stress.
Tips from the Whinypaluza mom group on Facebook for less stress:
- What will be will be. You can only do so much!
- Know your limits.
- Everyone will be okay if things don’t go just how you planned. You need to be okay with it too.
- Ask for help!
- Write things down!
- Take every moment in.
- Everything always works out.
- Pick names for gifts for less gift buying.
- Remember what the season is really about.
I would love to hear your advice to moms for December. I would love to hear what you are doing differently this year. I would love to hear what has changed for you and if you are resisting or embracing the change.
Happy December. I wish you a smooth, happy, healthy, peaceful, month ahead.
Laughing, Learning, Loving,
Rebecca Greene, LCSW-R
Check out my 
:
Whinypaluza Notes:
Whinypaluza Mom Group:
If you are looking for a supportive community, come join the free Whinypaluza Mom Facebook group. I created this as I wanted us to have a place where we can talk about tips, strengths and challenges we are having. It is another step I took to help everyone to know that you are not alone. Our December challenge is currently going on. Come jump in and join us and bring a friend with you! I love to give away prizes. This group is private so please find me on Facebook at Whinypaluza or Rebecca Greene and message me to ask for an invite. I’m also on Instagram @becgreene5 and @whinypaluza_mom. I am also on Tik tok @whinypaluzamom.
The Whinypaluza Schedule:
Whinypaluza Wednesdays: My weekly blog comes out every Wednesday. I am always open to your topic requests. A new Vlog (video blog) also comes out every Wednesday night on Facebook at 9:00 PM Eastern time to discuss the blog. If you would rather listen to a podcast than watch a Vlog, you can wait for the following Wednesday, and the Vlog is released on my Podcast.
Family Fridays: Every Friday morning a new Podcast is released. Most of my episodes on Fridays are me discussing parenting and marriage with experts on the topic. If you would rather watch the Podcast instead of listen, you can watch it on You Tube. If you would like to be on my Podcast or know someone who would like to please message me on Facebook or Instagram or at whinypaluzamom@gmail.com
I would greatly appreciate it if you would subscribe, rate my podcast and leave me a five-star review. This leads to it being shown to more people that we can help. I appreciate it when you share my blogs, vlogs and podcasts with a friend so that we can build our community and help people one mama at a time. Every time you like and/or comment on a post it helps and is so appreciated!
