As I write this, it’s very hard for me to believe that Ella is 17 years old. I can go right back to the hospital the day she was born in the blink of my eyes. Ella was born six weeks early. I looked at my beautiful girl when she was born and then they rushed her to the NICU. Knowing Ella now, it is no surprise that she worked hard in the NICU to be all good and get the ok to go home six days later. She is one of the hardest workers I know. It is her birthday as I write this and she wanted to go to school. She is currently doing homework. Her work ethic, her heart of gold, her brilliant mind and her kind soul continue to amaze me.
Ella,
I would say that you are wise beyond your years and have taught me so much. I want to take time today to share some of your wisdom with you and everyone else. You are one of my greatest teachers in life and I couldn’t be more thankful for you.
Being Different is awesome!
I love that Ella doesn’t try to fit in. I love her style. I love who she is. I love that she loves theater, books and studying. Keep honoring who you are. Fitting in is boring. Standing out and being you is so much more incredible. What makes you stand out is often what makes you strong.
Be True to yourself!
From Taylor Swift, to Snoopy, to poetry, to day dreaming, Ella knows who she is. It has been amazing to watch her learn and grow and become an amazing young lady. If you say something to Ella, she will know if she agrees. She knows what her views and beliefs are and she is going to do wonderful things in this world of ours.
Working hard is fun
Ella’s work ethic is incredible. She works so hard and she seems to enjoy it. She loves to learn and study. She loves stretching her brain. She has shown me that working hard can be a fun process. Enjoy the journey! Ella enjoys studying for AP history, AP bio, AP psychology, and so much more. Hard work doesn’t have to be dreaded.
You are allowed to make mistakes
When I mess up, Ella is the first to forgive me. She doesn’t hold a grudge. She often tells me that I am allowed to be human and that she doesn’t expect me to be perfect. In fact, she has said this to me several times. It’s almost like it’s a message that she knows that I need to hear. She is correct.
Treasure quality friendships
She chooses her people carefully. She has taught me that quality always outweighs quantity. She is happy with a small group of close friends that she enjoys spending time with. She is thoughtful about her friendships, and she is thankful for her friends.
You don’t have to rush
She unfolds at her own pace. In a world obsessed with milestones and comparisons, she reminds me that growth is not a race. She walked at her own pace. She will drive at her own pace. She grows taller at her own pace. She gets it all done on her own time.
Emotions are not weaknesses
Ella feels deeply. Instead of shrinking from it, she leans into it. She has shown me that sensitivity is not fragility, it’s awareness. She never apologizes for what she is feeling. It goes along with her being true to herself.
Rest is productive
When she needs a break, she takes one. She doesn’t apologize for protecting her energy. When she wants to stay home and chill out, she tells me. When she needs to recharge and regroup, she tells me. She knows when she needs alone time. She has taught me a lot about rest.
Pick your battles
I was annoyed on the way home at someone. Ella told me that it was not worth being angry about. She is really good at judging what is worth her time and energy. She always has wise words of advice for anyone that asks her.
Courage is quiet
Not all bravery is loud. Sometimes it’s walking into school on a hard day. Sometimes it’s trying again after disappointment. Sometimes it’s just showing up. She is one of the strongest people I know. She will brush herself off and get back up.
Creativity is therapy
Whether it’s theater, writing, or imagining something bigger than herself, she reminds me how good it is for us to be creative. You will find her writing in her journal or listening to a record. At her heart she is creative and she stays true to that. It is excellent therapy and she continues to show me this.
You can rewrite your narrative
Life doesn’t always go the way we script it. Ella faced moments that stretched her. Instead of folding, she has rewritten, adjusted and adapted. She is always up for rewriting her story as necessary. I have seen her pivot. I have seen her change her mind. This is a great lesson for all of us.
Seventeen years ago, I thought my job was to teach her everything.
Today, as I look at this beautiful young woman standing on the edge of adulthood, I know the truth:
She has been teaching me all along.
Happy 17th birthday, Ella.
We couldn’t love you more! Thanks for being our daughter!
Laughing, Learning, Loving,
Rebecca Greene, LCSW-R
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