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Sometimes, life kinda sucks. Whether it’s a loss, an emotion, or just a bad day, life finds a way of making sure we aren’t always happy. And that’s okay. It’s okay to feel downtrodden, exhausted, or any emotion. But what I’ve learned isn’t okay is giving up. 

The last time I tried to drive, I ended up crying. A wave of negative emotions hit me like a truck and I couldn’t do anything but pull over. I felt pathetic, frustrated, and extremely confused about what the problem with my right turn was. It all made no sense, and I let it make no sense. 

Sometimes, you just have to feel your negative emotions. Sometimes, you just have to look at what you’re avoiding square in the face and walk right through it. I’ve tried to go every way around my disdain for driving, but sometimes the best way around is through. 

I’d love to tell you it was a great mother-daughter bonding moment and I immediately felt better, but that would be a lie. My mom gave me some great advice, but I don’t think I could truly digest anything she said. That’s okay.  Just having someone with me made me feel a lot better. So, when you decide to go through, make sure you have someone there with you. Humans are social animals after all. 

After I drove around a little more, I decided to just drive home. When I got there I promptly failed at turning into my driveway. All this driving and I still suck at pulling into my own driveway. That’s a real confidence booster. 

I mention this because it’s so easy to internalize our hard emotions.  It’s so easy to make ourselves feel smaller whenever we’re not happy and calm. I certainly do that, and I want to stop. We should be able to understand that we have negative emotions for a reason and to not use them to judge ourselves. If we wouldn’t judge our friend for feeling a certain way, we shouldn’t judge ourselves either. 

Whether we admit it or not, we’re all very judgemental. We like to decide what makes us “good” or “bad” in ways we wouldn’t to anyone else. But we’re not “good” or “bad.” Sure, we can be bad at things (basketball is not my strong suit), but as people most of us are generally good. So we should treat ourselves like we’re good and give ourselves the benefit of the doubt, because emotions are not assessments. 

Until next time, 

Ella Greene