The love of Breastfeeding
Oh my goodness if I hear one more person tell me not to breast feed!!!!
I understand they are looking out for me or judging me or whatever…Lets talk about breastfeeding!
My son was born and I was determined to breast feed him after all the research I read!
I was a first time mom who had no clue what I was in for! Sleepless nights breastfeeding a starving little boy every two hours became my life!
He was and still is a vulture!
I was an exhausted mess and my little angel of a son kept making me bleed!
The lactation consultants tried hard to help me in person and on the phone while I cried!
Don’t let this vampire near me is the point I got to!
When you are crying and bleeding you know it is time to throw in the bloody towel (at least for me)!
I turned to pumping and then felt like a cow for the next nine months!
Thankfully my daughter Ella nursed easily!
When she latched on and it didn’t hurt I couldn’t even believe it!
I was so happy and now could see how mom’s could deal with breastfeeding their babies.
This is how it should be! This is ok! I can do this!
I got so excited I forget to introduce a bottle and find myself stuck with a baby who won’t drink out of any nipple I buy!
Trust me, I tried every single nipple out there!
So my reality became that I had windows of opportunity to leave and then would get phone calls that Ella was screaming and crying and I would rush home!
This is ok, I can do this I would tell myself!
Why won’t this baby let me have a freaking life!
Nursing through your baby having a cold is so much fun!
I kept suctioning her nose trying to help her breath so she could nurse!
For the love of G-d Ella take a damn bottle!!
Ella was now 17, yes 17 freaking months old and on her third cold!
I looked in her big beautiful blue eyes and said I am so sorry honey mommy can’t do this anymore!
That was the end of breastfeeding Ella! Call me a good mommy for doing 17 months, call me a bad mommy for cutting her off, I knew at that moment that I was done!
The funny thing is Ella knew too and she seemed to understand or so I hope!!
Now my daughter Lillie is nursing. Ok, I learned, yes, I started pumping and nursing and giving her bottles and my boob!
Yes, I made her flexible, yes I learned from my mistakes!
Every month I give myself a pat on the back and yes, I am feeling sooo done!
My baby is almost 11 months! We will see how this goes!! Weaning sucks literally!
I want to drink a glass of wine without feeling guilty! I want to drink a huge cup of coffee!
I want to go out at bed time and have Seth or my mom be able to put Lillie to bed!
I want my boobs back! I want my body back!
You have women who whip out their boob in public and nurse with no problem!
Kudos to them I am too shy for that!
You have women like me who hide and nurse and there are women who don’t want to nurse or can’t nurse etc etc!
Bottle feed breast feed cow feed goat feed whatever you want just let people do what they want with their own baby!!!
Be flexible, be accepting, be less judgmental, and freaking help your fellow women get through this joy of motherhood!!!!
Now go feed your baby! I am going to go nurse my baby and figure out this whole weaning thing again!