I was always thin, active and fit growing up. I did gymnastics, dance, softball and cheerleading. In high school I did hours of cheerleading. If you don’t think cheerleading is a legit sport than I am guessing you have never seen a practice or competition. It’s a combo of gymnastics, dance and weightlifting. I was lifting girls and was very strong. I could eat whatever I wanted and stayed pretty thin.

In college and graduate school, I entered into the restaurant world. I worked at Applebee’s and Roadhouse and would get done working late at night. We would all go hang out and there were many times I would end up at Perkin’s at 5 am eating breakfast with my friends. I would get home super early in the morning and go to bed. I wasn’t watching what I was eating, and I wasn’t cheerleading anymore. My weight began to creep up.

I started my first diet in my early 20’s. I reduced my portions and lost 40 lbs. My weight went up and down for the next twenty years.

When I met Seth, I was focusing on eating half of everything. I was a good weight until we started planning our wedding. I found planning our wedding and attempting to please everyone very stressful. I think I am the only bride that gained weight for her wedding.

I felt beautiful in my wedding dress despite the weight gain and we rolled into having our three babies. In my 30’s my weight was up and down as I gained and lost pregnancy weight. I remember doing Isogenix and having success. If my memory serves me correctly, Isogenix involved doing shakes and a healthy dinner. It worked.

When Lillie was one years old my brother inspired me to do Take Shape for Life. He tends to inspire me to do a lot of things. I think my brother is pretty fabulous. He understands me as his weight goes up and down too. He is always working to be healthier and I admire that about him. Last night he posted that he was out for a run in a weighted vest.

On Take Shape For Life I lost 87 lbs. Read that again. That was a huge deal. I will include pictures in this blog of what I looked like. I was at a healthy weight, but my children were cringing looking at the pictures today. They told me I look anorexic and not healthy. I was really restricting what I was eating. It worked. It was five small meal/snacks and a healthy dinner every day. Worked like a charm.

I have a secret to share. Every single diet I have ever tried works. I lost 20 lbs doing intermittent fasting. I lost 30 lbs getting rid of sugar in my diet. If I try anything it tends to work. I think we have to find what works best for us. I also think most diets work. People love Weight Watchers too. The big issue is that if it is a temporary diet and you aren’t maintaining it, you will gain the weight back. We need to find a healthy way of living every day. It needs to be a way of life and not a diet.

Everything shut down due to the virus and we have been stuck home since March 16th. My brother had decided that we were doing a three day juice fast together right around this time. He does that for me. He will just call me and tell me what diet we are doing together. He told me my juice fast was already in the mail and to expect the package. My husband convinced me to get on the scale before I started it and boy was I upset. I was definitely not at a good weight. I was not taking care of my health. With the juice fast, walking my dog multiple times a day and doing a 21 day healthy living challenge, I have said goodbye to at least 13 lbs. I need to get back on the scale and see where I am at today as I type this.

Here I sit on May 29, 2020 writing to you about my yo yo weight. I have gone up and down between thin and heavy for 20 years now. It’s amazing the difference between 23 year old me talking about my weight and 43 year old me. 23 year old me just wanted to look good. 43 year old me just wants to be healthy for my family (and for me of course).

Lillie saw the look on my face the other day and came over to me. I was annoyed with my indigestion and she hugged me and looked into my eyes. I wanted to cry. How could I be doing this to her? I shouldn’t be this weight. I wasn’t focusing on myself and I wasn’t being a good mother. I was angry with myself. I wanted to be able to live a long life with my husband, children and future grandchildren. What was I doing to myself?

I don’t know what you believe in, but I believe in G-d and divine intervention. If I am quiet in my mind, I get messages all the time. I get messages about what blogs I “should” write. Writing is a spiritual connection for me. As I take my walks with Tanner and quiet my mind, I get a lot of messages. As I sleep and dream, I get messages sent to me. I remember most of them when I wake up. I bring this up because Seth came to me with a new idea. Divine intervention at work.

Seth comes to me and tells me David has asked me to do his 21 day challenge. Why did I even hesitate? Why not? What did I have to lose? Nothing! I will tell you that twenty years later after many, many diets I know SO much about losing weight. Repetition is good for us. It doesn’t matter if we know how to do anything if we aren’t doing it. Hearing David’s daily healthy living challenge is good for me. It gives me a new daily goal to work on. It reinforces stuff I already know. It reinforces stuff I’m not doing. I am also learning along the way too. I’m taking notes so I can remember what each daily challenge is.

What is my issue and what is the difference today? I can’t expect myself to be perfect. I need to be easier and harder on myself. I have to expect myself to make good food and drink choices all day and I have to be okay that every decision won’t be perfect. As I talked about last week on my blog, balance tends to be the key word. We all have to find our balance.

I worked with a wonderful woman named Liz who lost weight and maintained it very well. She told me to take it choice by choice. Don’t look at the whole day, the whole week or the whole month. Take it step by step and choice by choice. Excellent advice Liz. I asked my friend Debbi how she maintains her excellent weight and she told me she stays on the Weight Watchers point system which helps her with maintenance. I seem to do a fabulous job losing weight and not a fabulous job maintaining it.

Today I am not at a healthy weight. I am not proud of my weight. That concerns me for my health. Being overweight is not good for our body. I want my body to be happy with me. I am going to be blatantly honest with you all and tell you that my boobs are huge today as I write this. That isn’t good for me either. You may ask why I haven’t had a breast reduction surgery (many people in my life have asked me that question). That is because when I lose weight my size everywhere goes down. I would love to succeed at reducing them myself again without having to have surgery. I’m sure my back and my neck will thank me.

I am sitting here proud of the food and drink choices I have chosen today. I could give you a giant list of what I am doing differently. I think key number one is smaller portion sizes. I think key number two is to drink a ton of water. I could go on and on about what I am doing differently today. You are welcome to do the 21 day challenge with me. As I said, what do you have to lose? Nothing! I’ll put the link in my comments in case you want to join me.

What we focus on expands. If you are focusing on negative things all day that is what you will get. If I focus on my health and my ideal weight that is what I will get. I choose health. I choose positive thinking. I choose an ideal weight for me.

Hopefully you will continue to see my weight go down as I reach an ideal weight. I won’t be perfect. If I fall off the wagon I will get back up again. The thing about me is I never give up.

What am I doing differently today?

  • Being mindful of everything I put in my mouth.
  • Positive focus. Focusing on reaching my ideal weight.
  • Walking more with Tanner. Increased weight training. Treadmill. More exercise.
  • Less sugar / white carbs.
  • Smaller portion sizes.
  • Drinking more water.
  • Focusing more on me and less on others / this is hard for this mother.
  • Feeling empowered.
  • Feeling motivated.
  • Taking things day by day and choice by choice.
  • Weighing myself regularly vs. avoiding the scale.
  • A forever, maintainable things / not a temporary diet.
  • Not expecting perfection from myself.
  • Never giving up.
  • Writing down the healthy living challenge daily goals and positive affirmations.

I would love for you to share with me what works for you. Especially if you have been able to maintain a healthy weight. Thank you for taking my journey with me! I hope you will join me. If you are struggling with your weight you are not alone. Let’s be healthy together!

Laughing, Loving, Learning,

Rebecca Greene, LCSW-R