My goals in writing are 1) For you to see you aren’t alone in what you are thinking and feeling. 2) For you to find it helpful. 3) For me to vent out my stress into my laptop. Here we go.
It was 8:30 PM last night and I realized that Lillie was still outside playing with the neighbors. She went from school, to theater, to playing outside. I squeezed in some dinner for her too before we jetted off to pick up Ella at theater. I went to theater three times yesterday. It was too much, but I am more than willing to do that for my kids. I put on about three good Podcasts and I spent a lot of time in my car yesterday.
I stepped outside and looked and saw Lillie playing outside and my heart sank. 8:30 PM and she hadn’t done her homework. Do you want to know what I think of homework in general: I hate it. Yes, I do. I do not want my kids doing homework. I am super unsupportive of it. If I was a teacher, I would give zero homework. I would tell the kids their homework was to join a sport, activity, or to get outside and enjoy the fresh air. If you don’t agree with me, can we at least agree that there should be no homework in June? Instead of no homework, my son seems to have more homework in June. Is this catch up for everything they missed this crazy school year? Who knows? I am so over homework. I felt so badly but I told Lillie she had to come do her dreaded math homework. Lillie doesn’t like math at all. I don’t want to try to figure it out, so I enlist my 14 year old math wiz to do her homework with her. I’m so over this. Is it summer yet?
It was like pulling teeth to get her to do it and then I rushed her off to bed. What did I want to do? I wanted to let her play outside and have a good time. Nice weather in Buffalo is not something that we get all year, so we need to soak it in while we have it. She’s not begging to stay outside and play in the winter. At least today she did her homework before she ran to the neighbor’s house.
I see teacher’s posting that they are so done. I hear students saying that they are so done. I know the parents are done. Who’s idea was it to go until June 24th for school? Are they kidding me? School should end this week! That is my two cents. There is no AC, the building is too hot, and everyone has checked out. I forgot to mention the sweated through masks that all the teachers and students are wearing. End school!
I’m sorry to the teachers who are still trying to engage themselves and their students. I’m sorry to the students who are dragging themselves to school. It is time to put this year to bed. Let’s all start fresh in September and have a normal school year.
Let’s top it all off and cancel Kids Day today. I put Lillie to bed so excited last night. I told her rain was scheduled for tomorrow and to please not get her hopes up but how do you think that went? I am sitting here typing away when I am supposed to be helping at Kids Day. What a wonderful turn of events to actually get to go to school to help! It is definitely a privilege. Especially after the year we have had!
I know you have totally checked out. I know how you feel. I am feeling it too. I am holding on by a thread. I looked at the June calendar and my eyes popped out of my head. May Madness and the June Jungle have arrived. We all got through May. We did it. We got through this crazy school year. We did it. Now we will all get through June. I know that we can do it. One day at a time, one moment at a time, step by step we will get through June.
Tips to get through June:
- Know that you are not alone. You have the support of a lot of parents around you who feel the same way. All you need to do is open up to someone and they will probably tell you they feel the same way.
- Start checking your children’s assignments online now. Don’t wait for the last week of school. Make sure they are all caught up. Some kids are capable of keeping up on their own and some kids still need you to help them. Every flower blooms at their own speed!
- Start making some summer plans to look forward to.
- Start prepping for teacher gifts now so you aren’t scrambling the last week like I tend to do.
- Say yes to what is important to you and say no when it isn’t important. Do you need to attend everything? What do you have time for?
- Take away any guilt. You do not need to go to everything at school. You do not need to go to every sporting event. You are one person.
- I will tell you every week to use your supports. I need someone to watch my girls and someone to watch my dog if I am going to go to a soccer game three hours away. Family, friends and paid sitters. There are a lot of options to find support for yourself. Be resourceful and make it happen.
- If you are like me and you are going to have kids home all summer, go do some things for yourself. I’m supposed to be at Kids day today. Instead, I made myself a needed pedicure appointment! Needed is the wrong word. A wanted appointment!
- Take some pressure off of you and your family. What is going to help you all through this month? Do they need to shower every night? Do you need to attend every meeting?
If you are done with school, you are saying that you can’t believe that our children are still going to school this late into June. Almost every state around us has already finished which makes us even more hot to be done. Yes, our kids are still in school. Yes, they go until June 24th. I know that sounds totally absurd. It sounds absurd to me too. If you are in the throws of summer with your children, here are a few tips for you:
- You don’t have to entertain them every minute.
- They don’t have to have friends over every day.
- You don’t need to sign them up for every camp (unless you need to for work purposes).
- Make some fun summer plans that you can look forward to.
- I like to ask each of my children what they would like to do this summer. What is on their Wishlist? What is on my Wishlist? My husband? I would like to accomplish at least one thing on each person’s Wishlist.
- Sign each child up for at least one camp that they are excited about. If your kids are too old for that being a camp counselor, babysitting, an internship or job are all good options for them.
- Enjoy the summer. It goes by too fast. Try to find the joy every day and soak up some sunshine. I know sunshine in Buffalo is something that I treasure.
I’m done. My kids are done. The teachers are done. I think we have all reached our limit. If only school was ending this week. Day by day. Step by step. We will get through June. I know every night I will pull my kids inside later. I want them to enjoy themselves. I’m much more concerned with playing outside than I am with math. If that makes me a bad mother, then I’m okay with that.
Go make a fruity drink. Go in your backyard and put your feet up. Soak in the fresh air and sunshine and know that summer is knocking loudly and is almost here. We can all do this.
Laughing, Learning, Loving,
Rebecca Greene, LCSW-R
If you are looking for a supportive community, come join the Whinypaluza Mom Facebook group. I created this as I wanted us to have a place where we can talk about tips, strengths and challenges we are having. It is another step I took to help everyone to know that you are not alone. Come join us! The June “I am enough” challenge was a lot of fun. Come join us and bring a friend with you!
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