Happy Valentine’s Day everyone. If you don’t have a significant other, don’t worry, Valentine’s Day is for everyone. I love that it has become about all our relationships. I went to a Galentine’s brunch with my girlfriends, and we celebrated our wonderful friendship. Celebrate your family and your friends and don’t think that Valentine’s Day is just for a romantic partner. As I talk about the five love languages, I want to point out that this applies to everyone in your life. The big question is: how does your partner, friend, child, mom like to get loved?

If you haven’t read the book The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman, I recommend going to go get it today. It helped my husband and I improve our marriage and I think it will help your marriage too.

The 5 Love Languages:

Words of Affirmation: You feel the most loved when you hear it from your significant other (and from friends and family).  You want to hear things like, “I love you. I appreciate you. Thank you for doing that. Thank you for working so hard. Thank you for taking the kids to the doctor. I’m so thankful for you. How did I get so lucky?” You want encouragement and love through words.

Acts of Service: You feel the most loved when your partner does things for you. You want your partner to help throughout the day. You love it when they take the trash out, play with the kids, do the dishes, make dinner, etc. Acts of doing things make you feel the love.

Gifts: You feel the most loved when your partner gives you a gift. You love it when he shows up with roses. You love it when she buys you the new iPhone you have been eyeing. It makes you feel loved when your significant other shows up with coffee for you as a surprise. Gifts randomly and for holidays makes you feel the love.

Quality Time: You feel the most loved when you and your partner spend time together. You want to go to dinner and the movies together. You want to sit on the couch and talk. You love going on hikes together. You want to do things together and have time together as a couple.

Physical Touch: You feel the most loved when you are touched. You want a lot of hugs and kisses. You want to hold hands. You want to cuddle on the couch together. You feel love through touch.

I know some of you are probably thinking that you want all of those and you aren’t alone. I feel the same way. There is a free love language quiz online that you and your partner can take to help you understand each other. What Seth and I learned is that I was doing acts of service for him because that’s what I want. He was telling me through words of affirmation how much he loves me because that is what he wants. We learned that Seth doing acts of service like doing the dishes makes me feel the most loved. My telling Seth how much I love and appreciate him makes him feel the most loved. We want to do all five for each other, but we were happy to learn more about each other.

I also pay attention to the people in my life and how they feel the most loved. How do my kids want to be loved and nurtured? How do my friends feel the love? I think most people appreciate all the above but it’s interesting to learn and grow more together.

On this Valentine’s Day, I hope that you will show love to your significant other. It’s the perfect excuse to show some love today. Instead of saying that you don’t like made up holidays, take the time to use today as an excuse to show your loved ones some extra love. If you do it the way that they most appreciate, then you get some extra bonus points.

Thank you for being a part of the Whinypaluza community.

Sending my love to all of you. Happy Valentine’s day! Xoxo

I hope you enjoyed my extra Valentine’s content!

Laughing, Learning, Loving,

Rebecca Greene, LCSW-R


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Whinypaluza Notes:

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If you are looking for a supportive community, come join the free Whinypaluza Mom Facebook group.  I created this as I wanted us to have a place where we can talk about tips, strengths and challenges we are having.  It is another step I took to help everyone to know that you are not alone. The February Valentine Challenge just ended. Come join the group and bring a friend with you! I love to give away prizes. This group is private so please find me on Facebook at Whinypaluza or Rebecca Greene and message me to ask for an invite. I’m also on Instagram @becgreene5 and @whinypaluza_mom. I am also on Tik tok @whinypaluzamom.

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Please feel free to email me with suggestions for topics that you would like me to cover. I would also love to hear about any lessons or takeaways that you learned from blogs, vlogs or podcasts that Whinypaluza releases. I hope that you are finding all this helpful and seeing that you are never alone. We are in this parenting and marriage ride together. xoxo