Some months are more intense than other months. I knew that on a scale of 1-10 that June was going to be a high 10 on my level of intensity. Our schedule is no joke, and I feel as though I am running at top speed. Let’s throw in a trip to Toronto, a trip to Virginia, meetings, work, awards ceremonies and so much more in the month of June. I have had what I would call a few mommy meltdowns this month.
I know that I am not the only mom, and I know that you are not the only mom that sometimes gets feelings of being completely overwhelmed. It’s totally normal, and you don’t need to be perfect to be a great mom. Let’s talk about mommy meltdowns.
What causes a meltdown in the first place? It’s not just about your kid not listening or your to-do list feeling a mile long. A mommy meltdown often stems from overwhelm. We put so much pressure on ourselves to do so much in one day.
It’s usually a series of small moments that add up. I usually wake up thinking something like, “Ready, set, go!.” Then, you’re navigating the morning routine, school drop-offs, work, chores, errands, volunteering, and trying to fit in 10 minutes for yourself. The constant balancing act takes its toll, and before you know it, you’re in full meltdown mode. It’s not about being weak; it’s about being human.
Last night my daughter asked me to get a series of papers together for her for cheerleading. I got a text from the PTSA and realized that I had gotten so distracted by driving girls to cheer and finding forms that I forgot about my meeting (in time to still make it on time). This morning as I walked in from errands, my son reminded me that we have a 12:30 luncheon to attend together. Him and I didn’t put it on the calendar, and I totally forgot about it. I try very hard to stay organized and move through the day with ease. I find that even if I am moving through the day of all the things smoothly, it can still feel like too much.
When you’re in the middle of a meltdown, it can feel like you’ve completely lost control. You might feel guilty, frustrated, and ashamed of how you reacted. Meltdowns are a normal emotional response to stress. The trick is in how we handle them. Instead of beating yourself up afterward, let’s talk about how to regain control and come out of it stronger.
How can I evaluate my meltdowns, learn from them, and do even better next time?
Identify What’s Really Going On
Sometimes a meltdown isn’t just about the thing that set you off. It’s about feeling unheard, overworked, or unappreciated. Ask yourself: What’s the root cause of your frustration? Are you just running on fumes, or is there something deeper going on? When you can pinpoint the underlying cause, it’s easier to address it with a clear mind.
Be Gentle with Yourself
Here’s the hard truth: we can’t be everything to everyone all the time. Giving yourself permission to have a meltdown doesn’t make you a bad mom; it makes you real. You are allowed to feel overwhelmed, frustrated, and even angry. The key is how you handle it afterward. Acknowledge your feelings, take a break, and start fresh.
Ask for Help (It’s Okay, Really!)
When you’re in the thick of things, asking for help can feel like an impossible task. Whether it’s asking your partner to take over for a while, hiring a babysitter, or even asking a friend for emotional support, remember that asking for help is not a sign of weakness – it’s a sign of strength. We all need a little help sometimes. I had to take my dog to the vet, and I had to bother my friend to do both ways for tumbling for my daughter. I will make it up to her tomorrow, but I felt bad asking. I have to ask for help. I can’t do it all. I can’t be everywhere.
Set Boundaries!
My children ask me to do so many things – my husband, my friends, etc. Sometimes we have to say, “I can’t do that. I don’t have time.” If I have too much going on in a week, I will say things like, “I don’t want to add anything else to my schedule.” What are your boundaries? Make some!
I will always say two things to moms to help them: remember to take deep breaths. Remember to take time for yourself. I just took a time out from my to do list to take a walk with my daughter and I feel so much better. We can’t endlessly work all day. I tell my daughter this too because she’s been studying all day. We have to take mental breaks for our sanity.
Adjust Expectations
I have definitely had less time to clean and cook this month. Tonight, my husband is working late and my kids can deal with leftovers. I have been going nonstop since 6 am and I don’t want to cook, and I don’t need to cook. We have food. The house doesn’t need to be perfect. The dinner doesn’t need to be perfect. The gift doesn’t need to be perfect. The dress I wear doesn’t need to be perfect. I felt so seen when I listened to Matt and Abby’s podcast The Unplanned Podcast. Abby was talking about how she will leave dishes in the sink at night until the next day. I couldn’t agree more. The sink doesn’t need to be empty for me to go to bed. Adjust your expectations. I promise it will help reduce your meltdowns.
Get excited for some down time. There are two things that really excite me and help me relax. The first is to watch a good tv show with my husband at night. We just finished Sirens, and I really enjoyed it. I also get very excited to read my book. Especially when it’s a good one. I have really been enjoying Till Summer do Us Part. Take some down time every day and do something that brings you joy.
How to Recover After a Meltdown
Once you’ve had a meltdown (and I promise we’ve all been there!), it’s important to regain your equilibrium. Here’s how:
Apologize and Talk It Out
If your kids were involved, take a moment to apologize. Do it in a way that teaches them emotional regulation. For example, “Mommy got upset because I was really tired, but it’s not okay for me to raise my voice. I’m sorry for yelling. I need to take a deep breath and walk away so that I can calm down and won’t yell.” This models healthy emotional expression for them and shows them that mistakes happen, but we can learn from them. I had to apologize to my husband for my meltdown. He gently reminded me not to take my stress out on him and he is absolutely right.
Refocus Your Energy
After you’ve had a meltdown, it’s time to let go and move forward. Take a minute to reflect on what went wrong and how you can prevent it next time, but don’t dwell on it. Shift your focus back to your goals, your kids, and your life. You’ve got this, mama.
Celebrate Small Wins
Even in the midst of chaos, look for the small victories. Maybe you didn’t have a meltdown over dinner prep today. Maybe you kept your cool during a difficult school pickup. These moments of calm show you that you can regain control, even when things feel overwhelming. Celebrate those wins!
You Are Enough
Remember this, mama: you are enough. Meltdowns are a natural part of life, especially when you’re juggling everything it takes to raise a family. The key is to handle them with grace, love, and self-compassion when they happen.
Next time you feel the frustration bubbling up, take a breath, step back, and remember – you’re doing the best you can, and that’s all anyone can ask for.
Feel free to leave a comment below sharing your own strategies for handling meltdowns or share this post with a fellow mom who needs it. Let’s keep supporting each other!
Laughing, Learning, Loving,
Rebecca Greene, LCSW-R
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If you are looking for a supportive community, come join the free Whinypaluza Mom Facebook group. I created this as I wanted us to have a place where we can talk about tips, strengths and challenges we are having. It is another step I took to help everyone to know that you are not alone. Our June challenge was a lot of fun! Come jump in and join us and bring a friend with you! I love to give away prizes. This group is private so please find me on Facebook at Whinypaluza or Rebecca Greene and message me to ask for an invite. I’m also on Instagram @becgreene5 and @whinypaluza_mom. I am also on Tik tok @whinypaluzamom.
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