I am deep into summer mode. I know that some of you work full-time all year round. I know that some of you are teachers who get some time off this summer. I work part time all year round. Between the kids, the house, the errands, the cooking etc., I am beyond thankful to work part time. I put the peddle to the medal over the spring and ramped up my work schedule to get prepared for summer. I am in the heart of mom summer mode.
During the school year I drop the kids at school and have 5-6 hours to work and get a lot accomplished Monday – Friday. The house is quiet and I am super productive. Sometimes I have 7-8 hours to myself if my children stay after school. Every summer, I forget how different the summer looks. Every summer, I have a huge adjustment to make. Every Fall I have to adjust to a quiet house. Every summer the quiet goes away. It’s just a fact and its huge adjustments for me depending on the season.
My daughters are home every day. This means that I don’t accomplish as much. They have work, camps, plans, etc. going on that they ask me to drive them to. I am excited to report that my son arrives home from his summer job in Ithaca tomorrow. I will have him home too starting tomorrow. I have a feeling that my productivity is about to go down more. I am beyond thrilled to go get Max tomorrow. I am also going to be realistic with myself of what August days will look like. Do I want my kids home? Yes! Do I get as much done? No. Do I turn into summer Rebecca? Yes!
Max has a car and drives himself wherever he wants to go. He can also help with the girls – I hope. Ella will hopefully have her license next month and will be driving herself places. As each child gets their license the summer driving load decreases. I am not saying that I don’t want to drive them around. It just affects my days drastically. I am not rushing the years away. When Lillie gets her license, I am going to gain so much time, and I am not going to know what to do with myself. I am going to have time to fill with all the things. Every summer will look a little different as my children get older. That will be another issue for another blog in the future. My friend just told me yesterday how bizarre it is for her that her youngest child just got her license. There are always huge adjustments for moms at every stage of motherhood.
The weather is nice most days and I want to be outside soaking up the sunshine and my pool as much as I can. My goal every day is to make it to the pool. Even for a short swim. We live in Buffalo, NY and we have long drawn-out winters. I have plenty of time in the winter to work and do all the things inside.
Here is what I have to say to you about these short summer months. Especially if you live near me. Especially if you have long winters like me!
It is okay to be less productive in the summer months. These are not the days that I am going over what I accomplished that day and beating myself up. If I took a slower day – good for me. If I didn’t get much accomplished – good for me! I want you to tone down the self-criticism this summer. If you and your kids are still in your pajamas then I am sending you a high five.
Take breaks to get outside. Sometimes the day goes by, and I realize I’ve been inside most of it. If you are working at home like me – take a break and get some sun or take your work outside. If you work full time – take a break to stretch and get some sun. It is not good to sit all day, and it is not good to miss the sunshine all day. Little breaks can jump start you to be more productive. I love that my daughter just took her breakfast outside! If your children are driving you crazy – go take a break outside by yourself.
If you have vacation time – use it! Summer is the time to use those vacations and enjoy your summer. I don’t need winter vacation time unless we are traveling somewhere warm. Are you seeing a theme with me? I am not sure why I live here but that is a whole separate blog.
Book the vacation if you can. As our kids get older, they get busier and vacations get harder to take. We have five people to work around if we want us all to come. Summer is the time when you can usually find a week when everyone is able to go away together. Make it happen. It will be okay if you miss a sports game or a camp.
Enjoy a slower pace after work. It is raining as I type this so we will see if I get outside today. I am hoping you can make a slower pace for yourself this summer. After work and dinner, I hope that you can go sit outside, relax and enjoy. Buffalonians lack vitamin D. Get outside and soak up that sunshine whenever you can.
You don’t even have to sit outside. Go take nightly walks after dinner. I am reading about how good a walk after dinner is for all of us. It gets us outside and gets us moving. I don’t know about you, but I don’t want to take an outside stroll in the dead of winter. I freeze on my winter walks. I still think we should do them but there is a different level of enjoyment for me in the summer. Walks are good for moms at every stage mentally and physically.
What summer mode hobby can you begin or continue this summer? Last summer I got into painting rocks. This summer I have been in my garden a lot. What is a summer hobby or sport that you can begin to enjoy summer just a little more? My son loves to go fishing. My daughter loves to go for a bike ride. What will you start or continue?
Book the dates! Book a date with your spouse. Go eat on the water. Book a date with your girlfriends. I am proud to report that I pulled off a painting night this summer in my backyard. I also just had a poker/swim date at my house for couples. The men played poker and the women swam. I am proud of myself when I coordinate dates with everyone and make it happen. For my paint night a lot of my very good friends couldn’t come. Summer is busy and everyone has a lot of plans. I want to encourage you to not get frustrated trying to find a date. Don’t give up. Find a date and make it happen. I can get frustrated trying to work around everyone’s busy schedule. Plans with friends is very good therapy for all of us. I would love to see us all have a minimum of one date a month with our spouse and with our friends. Summertime dates can be even more fun with the outside as an excellent option for dinner and activities. There is nothing like dinner out on a nice patio.
Soak up the tournaments and games. I know that some of you are running around constantly at all your children’s games. I am hearing about a lot of baseball and lacrosse right now. Football will be starting soon. Max is done with organized sports (for now). Ella isn’t into sports. Lillie is our sports girl. I will enjoy the year ahead of watching her at all her games and tournaments. I hope that you can sit back and relax with a cold drink and enjoy watching your children do what they love. I know how hectic it can be. By the way the hot dog at the field counts as dinner.
I want us all to lower the bar in general. Summer is not the time for a perfectly clean house, perfectly made dinner or perfect children. I don’t want us to spend our summer days cleaning inside. I don’t want us to spend our summer evenings inside cooking perfect meals. I have a hard time dragging myself inside to cook dinner. Dinners are getting later as I push myself to go inside and cook. In fact, with three children home starting tomorrow, how about they all start cooking this summer! How about cereal for dinner? That’s a great summer dinner option.
My me time needs increase over the summer. I love being with my children. I love having them at home every day. I also know that when I was meeting my friends out for dinner the other night, I was giddy. I needed to leave and get some time without my children. This is a gentle nudge to remember yourself this summer. Whether you take care of yourself with a run, a manicure, a book outside, or a mom’s night out – we need it!
I am so excited that I have another month of summer left. I hope the nice weather expands into September and October. I can hope! I hope that this blog encourages all of you to slow down and smell the summer roses. I hope you can enjoy your summer to the fullest. I would love to hear your summer tips and summer plans. Happy summer everyone.
Laughing, Learning and Summer Loving,
Rebecca Greene, LCSW-R
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