I was listening to my husband’s mastermind group recording and he said, “Write into being.” He gave the example of Jim Carrey writing himself a ten million dollar check and putting it into his wallet. Writing that down and looking at that check gave it power. He later received a ten million dollar check for doing the movie Dumb and Dumber. This was a man who had no money at the time of writing himself that check. As Seth spoke about this story, I was taken back to a time when I was writing about him.
I was in a six year relationship before Seth. I am forever grateful for that relationship because it taught me so much about what I didn’t want in a relationship. It really had me thinking about what I did want. I started to realize that I was wasting my 20’s and that it was long overdue time to move on. I am thankful every day for coming to my senses. If a relationship doesn’t feel right to you, listen to yourself. It took me a very long time to listen.
As I cried every night, I decided it was time to write. I started to write down every single night what exactly I was looking for in my partner. My list grew every night. I wish I knew where my list was so that I could pull it out and show it to you. Here are some examples that I remember writing down:
He is funny.
He is smart.
He is kind.
He is giving.
He wants a family.
He is Jewish. (I didn’t believe this one would happen, and it did.)
He lives in Buffalo.
He is hardworking.
He is loving.
He is affectionate.
He likes animals.
He has a job.
The list went on and on. I worked on it every night and studied it. I was developing my ideal partner. In the back of my head, I thought I was being way too difficult with my list. I wondered if I needed to tone it down, but I kept adding to it and thinking and studying it. It became a nightly thing for me.
My dear friend Stephanie had to remind me that a handsome nice man gave me his business card in Temple. If you haven’t heard this story let me briefly tell you about it. It was Rosh Hashanah (the Jewish New Year), and I was sitting in Temple with my parents. I was looking around at all the families feeling a lot of sadness. I asked G-d why my husband couldn’t be sitting in this very Temple with me? My career was great. I loved what I was doing, but I was longing for my husband and children.
The next holiday was Yom Kippur. I sat with my parents at the service and Seth was alone sitting a few rows behind me. He followed me to the bathroom, and we talked, and he gave me his business card. We both thought each other was married and trust me I corrected that misinformation. We were both seeing people at the time when we met. I put his business card in my purse and life proceeded.
I broke up with my boyfriend/fiancé for the third-ish time (I lost track). My friend Stephanie reminded me about the man that I talked to in Temple. She said that G-d was knocking on my head, and I was totally missing it. I don’t know what you believe in, but I believe that Stephanie was meant to be in my life for many reasons. This was one of those reasons. Thank you, Stephanie. I am forever grateful to you.
I did find Seth’s business card in my purse and emailed him. I was too chicken to call him. He told me to call him that night. Come on Seth! He was putting the ball in my court, and I decided to take it. I did call him that night, and the rest is history. We talked and talked and laughed and laughed. I was nervous to meet him. Could we be as good in person as we were on the phone? I bet you can guess what I am about to say. In person was even better than on the phone. He picked me up at noon for our first date and dropped me off at midnight. I didn’t want to leave him. When I looked into his eyes, I saw it all. I saw our life. I knew that he was the man for me after our first date.
I remembered the list that I made, and I went to read it over. Seth was absolutely everything on the list and more. I couldn’t believe it. He was even better than my list. How was this even possible? He told me that he had also created a similar list to find me. I was blown away.
I can tell you that over 17 years later and it just keeps getting better. I found the one in whom my soul delights.
I am telling you this story because I want this for you. Whether it is a partner in life, a child, a job, a relationship, a business, money, writing a book….whatever it is that you dream of, write it down. Write it down in exact details and look at it every day.
This experience has changed me. It has made me believe in so many things. I think one of my biggest lessons is learning in the power of writing down my words. I hope you will go do it. Then I hope you will share with me what transpires. Wishing for all your dreams to come true. Anything is possible! If we can dream of it, we can make it happen.
Laughing, Learning, Loving,
Rebecca Greene, LCSW-R
If you are looking for a supportive community, come join the Whinypaluza Mom Facebook group. I created this as I wanted us to have a place where we can talk about tips, strengths and challenges we are having. It is another step I took to help everyone to know that you are not alone. We just completed the July Summer Challenge. Come join us and bring a friend with you! I love to give away prizes!
The Whinypaluza Schedule:
Whinypaluza Wednesdays: My weekly blog comes out every Wednesday. I am always open to your topic requests. A new Vlog (video blog) also comes out every Wednesday night on Facebook and You Tube live at 9:00 PM to discuss the blog. If you would rather listen to a podcast than watch a Vlog, you can wait for the following Wednesday and the Vlog is released on my Podcast.
Family Fridays: Every Friday morning a new Podcast is released. Most of my episodes on Fridays are my discussing parenting and marriage with experts on the topic. If you would rather watch the Podcast instead of listen, you can watch it on Facebook or You Tube. If you would like to be on my Podcast or know someone who would like to please message me on Facebook or Instagram or at firstname.lastname@example.org
I would so greatly appreciate it if you would subscribe, rate my Podcast and leave me a five star review. This leads to it being shown to more people that we can help. I’m launching a giveaway each month to someone who has subscribed and written me a five star review. I would also love for you to share my blogs, vlogs and podcasts with a friend so that we can build our community and help people one mama at a time.
Please feel free to email me with suggestions for topics that you would like for me to cover. I would also love to hear about any lessons or takeaways that you learned from blogs, vlogs or podcasts that Whinypaluza releases. This is all for you (it helps me too), and I hope that you are finding it helpful and seeing that you are never alone. We are in this parenting thing together.