It’s been a rough week. We’ve had a lot going on and I found myself headed down into negative thinking. If you know me, you know that I don’t tend to be negative. In fact, my husband reminded me of this fact. I went to my negative place, and I allowed myself to live there for a little while. My sleep disappeared with the negative thoughts. I realized some things on this path down that I want to share in hopes of helping you and me the next time this happens.
As we think every day, we are creating neural pathways in our brain. I know this. I studied this. I know what’s going on. The more negative we are the more negative we think. The more positive we are the more positive with think. We are building and creating every day how our brain looks at things. You don’t realize your power. I know my power and I wasn’t in a place yet to use my power for good.
I had the pleasure of interviewing Rachel Bailey. I absolutely love her, and I listen to her podcast Your Long Game Parenting all the time. We had a wonderful conversation about the way we think. I brought up flexible thinking as I want to raise my children to be flexible in their thinking. I think that’s very important. Rachel says that we are either building their flexible brain muscles or their inflexible brain muscles. This goes for positive thinking too. Do we want to build the negative way that we think or the positive way that we think? I knew the answer to this question right away. Think about it this way, the more you do something the easier it becomes.
I let out all my fears and anxieties. I talked to my husband. I talked to my parents. Every time I talk it out, I realized how much better I felt inside. I felt the shift. I was beginning to climb out of my hole. My thinking was shifting. I was finding the positive again. The negative thoughts were becoming fewer and fewer, and the positive thoughts were building up. I was becoming proud of myself and the more proud and positive I became the more it grew inside of me. I found I could sleep again. I wasn’t sleeping as long as I would like but I was definitely getting good quality sleep again. Things were looking up and shifting.
I realized as I thought back on this past week that I went low, but I didn’t go low for too long. I noticed that because I’ve been building my positive thinking muscles for such a long time that it was easier to climb out of the negative hole. All my hard work on a daily basis was paying off. You may say that I’m naturally positive. I don’t disagree with that. However, I do get negative sometimes. I am not roses and sunshine all the time even though you may think that I am.
How did I dig out?
I realized how negative I was being – awareness. My husband pointed it out too.
I let my worries and fears out and didn’t hold them deep inside.
I allowed myself to feel.
I started writing in my journal.
I pray a lot.
I was uncomfortable – that motivates me to change.
I started to reassure myself like how I would talk to a friend. I treated myself like a friend. I was kind and reassuring.
I found my positive thoughts. They started to pile in, and I started to repeat them a lot to myself.
Kind nurturing supports always help me.
I feel in a much better place today as I write this. I’m smiling. I’m happy. I have a lot of faith and hope in this universe of ours. I can’t promise you that you will never fall down. I can’t promise you that you will never go to a negative place. Let yourself feel the feelings and then pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and get back up again. Find that inner dialogue that can take care of you and bring you to a better place. I know that if I can do it that you can do it.
Go work on your positive brain muscle. It pays off!
Laughing, Learning, Loving,
Rebecca Greene, LCSW-R
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