It seems that when it is time to pick up or drop off our son at college that the weather channels decide it is time for winter storms.
When it was time to pick up Max for winter break, they predicted crazy winter weather. I was supposed to go by myself. I don’t want to play with winter weather alone in my car on an almost three-hour drive. I postponed picking Max up for the next day when my husband could go with me. The weather didn’t seem bad at all, but better safe than sorry. I would always prefer that Seth comes with me, but I will do that drive by myself any time if I get to see Max.
Max was home with us for a glorious month. I cooked a ton of food and Max ate and slept and spent time with his family and friends. It was wonderful. I spent a lot of time in the kitchen, and I spent a lot of time doing laundry. I got a lot of hugs from Max, and I soaked up our time with him. We ended his visit with a birthday celebration for him at Wind. Perfect way to end a fabulous winter break. We didn’t travel anywhere. We stayed home and we wintered at home. We watched Stranger Things and we baked and we enjoyed a lot of time at home.
Yesterday it was time to bring Max back to school. I felt the dread for a few days before the day came. I felt the tears welling up in my eyes several times. I didn’t want to take him back to school but his excitement for the next semester was contagious. If I could live in that excitement, then I wouldn’t be so sad.
The text messages started pouring in about the coming winter storm. Not again! Seth turns to me at 2:00 PM on Sunday afternoon and said, “We can take him back now.” If I was planful, I would have been ready to take Max back on Sunday morning. However, I was buried in his laundry. They also predicted that the storm was coming at 1 pm on Sunday so I didn’t know that traveling on Sunday was a good idea either.
I got all of Max’s laundry done. I packed up all his clothes. Max packed up the rest of his stuff. The winter storm was predicted to come Sunday at 1 pm and run through Wednesday at 4 pm. I drove myself crazy looking up the weather and wondering what to do. Why can’t the weather just cooperate on the days that we need to travel?
I woke up on Monday with a flood of anxiety. I looked out the window and the weather looked fine, but I know that doesn’t mean a thing. That doesn’t mean the thruway is in good condition. That doesn’t mean the route to school was going to be clear. Seth, Max and I quickly packed up the car Monday morning and took off. Could we beat bad weather? What were we in for? I packed a bag for Seth and I in case we had to stay overnight and I loaded blankets in case we got stuck on the thruway. You just never know what you are in for in the winter. Have I mentioned that I am not a fan of the winter here in Buffalo, NY.
I’m going to take a time out and challenge myself to be winter positive for a moment. Wintering with my family has been fun. Winter has included: Lego, diamond art, ice skating, hibernating, tv shows, baking, lots of cooking and staying in together. Winter is certainly making me slow down a little. Winter is also bringing us together more. Ok, back to the winter storm.
Seth knows how much I dislike winter driving. I suggested that I drive there as the weather tends to get worse later in the day. We tend to share the driving on trips together. I quickly drove us to Ithaca, and the drive was a breeze. We all wonder what storm they are talking about, but I explain to Max that we don’t know what we will encounter on our drive home.
It is now 12:00 as we unpacked the car and my daughter Lillie is texting me that she doesn’t like how it looks outside. From talking to people at home, it seems as though we were getting flurries here and there causing white out conditions at times.
We unpacked the car and loaded up Max’s dorm room with all his stuff. We hugged him goodbye and ran back to the car. It was the easiest drop off in history. The good news is that the weather completely distracted me and I didn’t shed a tear. I didn’t even know that was possible. The bad news is that I felt a surge of anxiety not knowing what we were in for on our drive home. I asked to start us out as the curvy roads back to the thruway can make me car sick even when I’m driving. We pull over for gas, and this smart lady has her husband take over driving. Seth has driven through some really bad conditions. As stressful as it is, he handles it better than I do. I obviously would do it if I had to, but he was happy to take over and take one for the team.
From what the weather reported, we expected a really slow and scary drive home (which we have done before). The wind was crazy and a little scary. There were a couple of times when we struggled to see. All in all, it was a mild-ish winter drive home. We pulled in our driveway and we both said, “We did it.”
We weren’t the only ones traveling on Monday. It sounds like it depended on where you were traveling from – what direction were you driving – what time were you driving. Everyone did not have a mild drive home. Unfortunately, Seth and I find the quicker you get home the better which didn’t leave time for lunch with Max. We had a month with Max, and I will store that in my heart until I get to see him next time.
When we bring Max to school, the first night is always the hardest. He was back at school, and it was really hitting me after the stress of the weather wore off. I went to bed crying and I woke up crying. The thing is, I know that I will be ok. I know that this is all for a good reason.
I asked Max while he was home how he dealt with being home sick for the first two weeks at college. He said, “I knew it was normal. I knew I would adjust.” My kids are so smart. Ask your kids questions and learn from them. As I sit here typing this and the tears pour down, I know this is normal and I know I will adjust. I always do. The tears still come at random times. I get waves of grief and sadness. I also know that I will be ok. If you ever see me randomly crying, you all know why.
I can be as well prepared as possible for winter storms.
I can find some joy in winter.
I can handle my child being away at college. I can handle hard things. Storms come and storms go and that is a part of life. Just keep reminding yourself that you can handle winter emotional storms. You can handle hard things. We are strong women. Hear us roar xo
I want to thank you all for taking the emotional parenting journey with me. There are highs and there are lows. I buckled up 19 years ago for this wonderful, amazing, crazy, emotional, majestic, challenging, fabulous ride of motherhood. I’m here for myself and all of you as we take this journey together.
Laughing, Learning, Loving,
Rebecca Greene, LCSW-R
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