A lot of your kids are already back to school. My son started two weeks ago and my daughters both just went back to school yesterday. I know it brings up a lot of emotions for everyone. If your child started a new school or went away to school that is a lot of big feelings for you! No matter what grade your child is starting, I am here to walk with you through all of it. I personally feel sad, excited, happy, nervous, and so much more. It is always amazing to see how my children learn and grow every year. I will also have more time to work and get things done. I won’t be interrupted a ton of times each day. However, I absolutely love having my children at home. I have a huge adjustment to make when school ends and then I have a huge adjustment to make when they go back to school. Most of us feel that way. As we enter into another school year, my family has some back to school tips for you.
My daughter Ella has a Teenage Tuesday blog that she writes every Tuesday. She wrote one this week called You Don’t Need to Know that you can go read at Whinypaluza.com. It’s all about having patience with yourself as you learn things. Whether it’s a new school or just a new year. Give yourself time. Ella is a senior in high school. She doesn’t expect herself to know everything even though this will be her fourth year at the same school. Patience and time are your friends.
My daughter Lillie is starting high school as a 9th grader. Lillie’s tips:
Pace Yourself
Remind yourself that it will all get done. I tell myself this a lot and it helps me a lot!
Talk to people and don’t just keep everything inside. We all feel better when we talk about whatever is bothering us with a trusted person in our life.
My son Max is a sophomore in college. Here are the tips that he shared with me:
Work comes first before everything else. He really puts all his schoolwork first and takes it very seriously. He told me today that he is at college to study. I am so extremely proud of his hard work ethic and determination.
We were laughing about his laundry tip. Max says to do laundry in the dorms when no one else does. He loves to do laundry on a Friday night because he knows it won’t be busy!
Routine is important. Get a good routine with your classes/ school day, workouts, meals, sleep and homework. That is when Max does best and feels his best.
Find the things that you like to do. Max encourages people to join whatever it is that brings you joy. Maybe that is a sport or club. For Max, he is very excited to be doing two labs this semester.
Whatever it is that you are thinking about, Max says to go for it. Max was dreaming about doing summer research with a top professor. He didn’t question himself he just went for it. He sent out all the emails to a bunch of opportunities and got the one he really wanted. He encourages you to go after it.
Which leads us to having goals. Max always has goals that he is working on. I had the pleasure of spending a lot of time with Max today and hearing about all his goals that he is planning out for the next several years. I am so excited for him and for what’s ahead. I hope that you always have goals that you are working on!
Seth/ Dad:
My husband Seth says that you should always be prepared. If you had summer homework we hope that you got that done. If you have a school supply list then we hope you have spent time gathering it all. Seth just told me that our daughter Ella has been watching AP macro videos to help get ready for the class. Whatever you need to do to prepare from food to clothes to schoolwork, we hope that you will spend time preparing to make your life easier and be successful.
Have faith. Seth says to get rid of the anxiety and know that everything will work out. He says it is not that serious. You will find your classes. If you don’t have lunch with your friends you can make new friends. He was just saying that we were watching all the kids walking around college and seeing how serious they all are. He wants us all to take ourselves a little less serious and to have faith that all will be ok.
Get involved. From sports to clubs to volunteer work – Seth encourages all the students to get involved in whatever way works for you. This is one of the ways that people feel connected to their school and make friends who have similar interests.
You don’t need a lot of friends just a few good ones. Seth says quality over quantity is important for friendships. You want good quality deep friendships over a bunch of surface level friends.
Volunteer for stuff. Seth says to be a part of something that is bigger than yourself. It will benefit other people and yourself. It’s good for everyone to get outside of themselves and do for others. When you are nervous get into service.
Have goals and move towards them. Success is the systematic progression towards a worthy goal. Seth says you should always be working towards something.
My turn! My family had a lot of good tips and stole most of mine.
I definitely say to get into a rhythm/routine and get involved in school. I think the best thing that we can do for our kids is to encourage them to get involved in one thing. I always required my children to do at least one thing at school. This is where they will meet prosocial peers who will have the best influence on them.
The research proves that getting involved in school and having a routine are both very good for our children. Everyone thrives on a routine, and I know a lot of people are excited to get back to it.
Let me add some tips that they haven’t discussed yet. I want to encourage every child and parent to enjoy the journey. I want our children and all of us to just enjoy where we are at this moment. I am going to soak up this year because my daughter is a senior and is home for one more year. If your child is in Spanish, tell them to enjoy the class. Enjoy learning and growing and don’t rush anything. Don’t rush to get out of class or to get to the end of practice. Just be present and enjoy the journey.
Give yourself grace as we begin a new year. Whether you are mom, dad, grandma or child, let yourself get back into a routine and don’t expect too much of yourself. Especially as we all learn to get back into the groove of school.
Make a new friend! Whether you are the mom or student reading this, I encourage you to make a new friend this year. Keep your old friends and make new friends. Maybe there is a new student who doesn’t know anyone. Maybe there is a mom who is feeling confused and overwhelmed and needs your support. My favorite story is when my daughter Ella invited a girl who was sitting alone to come sit with her and her friends at lunch. Now she is one of her best friends!
I want to prioritize our basic needs for all of us. Remember to eat meals, drink water and get enough sleep. These three essentials make a huge difference for how we feel and go about our day. Throw in some exercise too!
Finally, don’t strive for perfection. You are not going to get good grades on everything. Our kids need to take the pressure down a little bit. If they are the opposite, then maybe you need to set a little fire under them and tell them what your expectations are. That may be how much time you expect them to do their homework and study every day.
Every child is different so remember not to compare your children to each other or to other students. I don’t want our kids comparing themselves either. I hate when I hear them talking about grades with each other. Each child is on their own journey and needs to compete with themselves.
My family wants to wish everyone a successful school year. I hope everyone gets back into a rhythm and has a great year. We hope you found this helpful and would love to hear your greatest back to school tips.
Laughing, Learning, Loving,
Rebecca Greene, LCSW-R
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