My husband wanted a few years to just be married before we got pregnant.  Was he kidding me?  I was about to turn thirty and I was having major baby fever.  I lectured him about how old I was and that we wanted a few kids and I didn’t want to be old when we had our third child.  I explained that he didn’t understand because men could have babies forever!  Seth quickly learned that he was fighting a losing battle!

After 9 months of marriage I was pregnant.  Seth was happy and totally freaked out too!  He had no idea what a fabulous father he was about to become!  He started telling me he was never changing a diaper.  He said he had never held a baby.  My thoughts in my head were “whatever Seth.  Think what you want!  Yes you are changing diapers just be quiet already.”  I was a good wife and I just listened and kept my thoughts in my head that he is now going to see published!

I was supervising social workers doing family therapy for children with serious behavioral problems while I was pregnant.  I would drag myself to Lockport every day, park in the parking lot, and make the walk up to my office.  I found myself feeling very cranky and I couldn’t seem to get enough sleep.  I was running to the bathroom a lot and all the social workers were becoming suspicious of my moodiness.  I would come home, make dinner, eat with my husband, and then say goodnight as I couldn’t keep my eyes open for several months!  Note to self: you can only do that with your first baby everyone!

When I announced in a meeting that I was pregnant not one of them was surprised.  They were all hoping there was a reason for their supervisor turning into cranky leave me alone supervisor!  Uh oh, I better shape up I didn’t want to be known as cranky!  At least now they had a reason!

As my feet and ankles swelled up I continued to drag myself from the parking lot to my office.  I started to get major back pain every day and work was becoming more and more difficult.  My wonderful doctors kept asking me if they needed to sign me out of work but I was determined to push through (by the way that was a bad choice).  I didn’t want to sit home and be bored!  Little did I know boredom was soon going to be a thing of the past and I should have been laying on my couch enjoying my last days of freedom!

I am now 38 weeks pregnant and at my doctor’s appointment.  I know a few of the doctors really well but today was seeing one who didn’t know me well.  I explained my major back pain and that I couldn’t go to work for one more day.  I begged her to write me out of work.  She examined me and said there was absolutely no sign of the baby coming and that I should probably go back to work.  Noooooooo!  I couldn’t do one more day and I begged and pleaded!  She signed me out of work and my friend from work called me a sissy!  Whatever people, I was ready to cry over the back pain!  By the way, the back pain was labor people!!!!!!!!

That night the labor pains really began.  Seth and I headed to the hospital and were ready to meet our baby girl.  Oh yeah, Seth talked me into being surprised (the one and only time) and I was having a ton of baby girl dreams and was ready to meet Hannah Rachel Greene so I thought!

24 hours later I was on my third hour of pushing.  Excuse the graphics but Seth is running away because he is totally grossed out by all of the blood coming out of me.  I don’t give a damn I say – “Get this baby out of me!!!!”  My wonderful doctor used the forceps, the vacuum and did everything she could possibly think of to get this baby out of me!  I was being wheeled to the operating room to have a c section at hour 25 because my baby was in distress (which they didn’t tell me).  “I am not having a c section.  Let me push.  Please let me keep pushing,”  I am going on and on and the next thing I know they put me out as they needed to get my baby out quickly!  My poor husband was left in the dust wondering what the hell was going on!

I wake up and my throat is throbbing and my belly is throbbing.  What the fuck did they do to me and where the hell am I??  I see my parents and Seth over me and I am totally disoriented and in tons of pain.  This completely sucks I think.  This is nothing that I thought it would be.  The miracle of pregnancy, the miracle of birth!  Shit, this all sucked!!!!!  Oh and now I have been cut open exactly what I tried to avoid!

My parents go home – they have seen the baby and I are ok and I am wheeled away.  Seth is telling me that his parents left after meeting the baby and that the baby is ok and we had a boy.  A boy!  What the hell was he talking about?  All I could think was leave me alone.  I was a complete mess from the whole ordeal and I didn’t give a shit about anything!

I wake up at 4 am in a complete panic!  Where is my baby Seth!  It was at that moment that I had the realization that my baby was no longer inside of me and was off somewhere!  I needed to see my baby that instant or I was going to lose it!  They wheeled him in and I grabbed him.  My baby boy!  9 months of pregnancy, 25 hours of labor, and he looked exactly like his daddy!  Too funny!  I do all the work and he looks like Seth!  I stared at my baby boy for hours and cuddled him.  I never wanted to let him go.  Ok, I get it, I finally see the miracle now and now at this moment I am completely content!  Maxwell Joseph Greene, it is a complete honor and joy to meet you, I am your mom!

P.S.  I could barely move and Seth changed all of Max’s diapers the first week of his life!