If you are a mother or you are friends with a mother, you have seen and heard all the stress that mothers are under right now (parents, not just mothers).
If you live near me, then your children have been home from school since March 16th. I was doing really well until about a week ago and then I hit a wall. A wall where I felt myself screaming inside for a break. My husband didn’t know what was wrong with me. He told me I was acting really cranky all the time. I told him yesterday that he should try being with his kids for over four months straight and seeing how he feels. I think that got through to him. I absolutely love having my children home. I also need to take some mama breaks! We all need breaks! Breaks from work. Breaks from children. Breaks from spouses. Breaks from housework…..the list goes on.
We are living through a pandemic!
How can we not be stressed when there is a new virus out there? How can we not be stressed when it seems to be giving people different symptoms? I hear people say that they are healthy, and their kids are healthy, so they aren’t worried. Good for you! I wish I could be like you! Mama bear is trying my best to protect my cubs. My friend just told me “If they are going to get it, they are going to get it.” I wish I could be that casual about it. I’m feeling anything but casual about Covid.
Moms (and dads) are stressed about the upcoming school year!
We just received a school plan for our district. The governor hasn’t approved it yet. You know that there is no way to please everyone. The plan was exactly what I anticipated: Two days of school for each half of the alphabet in a hybrid schedule. My kids would go to school Mondays and Tuesdays and would be virtual Wednesdays, Thursdays and Fridays. I am lucky that all my work gets done at home. I am lucky that I can be home with my kids and I am available to them if anything changes. What about the houses with two parents who go to work? What about the parents trying to get full time work done at home? I don’t quite understand what they think that these parents are going to do with their children. I completely realize that every family cannot pull off having one parent home with children. Trust me when I say that I know I am blessed. My mother gave me excellent advice to choose a career that I could do part time for my children. I am counting my lucky stars right now. That doesn’t mean that I’m not stressed and that doesn’t mean that I am not stressed for other parents!
Parents are given an option to do 100% virtual school for their kids. Parents do not have to send their kids to school. I can’t even tell you the number of parents that I have spoken to who are not planning to send their kids to school. There is a list of reasons for them to make the decision not to send their children back to school. Maybe your child suffers from anxiety and it’s too much for them mentally and emotionally. Maybe your child has an autoimmune disorder. I could go on and on about the reason’s parents have told me why they are keeping their kids home. I will keep emphasizing again that it is not our job to judge others. Every family has to make the decision best for their family. I will keep saying this over and over again as I see the lack of respect plastered all over social media.
Parents are stressed that their kids only get two days of school. There are parents who want their kids in school full time. They are not worried for a list of reasons that I have heard. I love that they aren’t worried. Good for them! I know they are looking at statistics and aren’t worried. I know that they think if their child gets the corona virus that it is no big deal. Trust me when I say that I am that person who is listening carefully to what every parent around me is saying. You can’t even just say that the medical field is all saying one thing! I know multiple parents in the medical field who do not agree with each other. This does not make me feel better at all.
There are parents currently agonizing over what decision is best for their family. I hear you. I see you. I understand you. There are families like me who plan on sending their kids to school and are hoping they are making the right decision. I could go on and on about school. We need a group just to talk about school. You are going through all the pros and cons of every decision over and over again and driving yourself crazy.
Mama Monday Meet Up
My mother has been telling me for years that I need a mother’s group. I have always kept it in the back of my mind. I knew she was right. She has mothers coming into her health food store feeling stressed out all the time. Hearing all the mothers stressing out around me is pushing me in this direction.
I had a friend reach out to me the other day about Max’s Bar Mitzvah. Do you remember that Bar Mitzvah that didn’t happen at all the way I wanted? The Bar Mitzvah that I am still upset about. I just need to be thankful that he could do it over Zoom. I will leave it at that and try to move on. There have been so many disappointments. Almost every family could tell you something that didn’t get to happen that they are disappointed about. I’m not the only one. That’s a mama topic in itself. We already have three topics: having children home for over four months, back to school and disappointments over the pandemic.
I asked this friend who messaged me about Max’s Bar Mitzvah how she was doing. She told me it depended on the day. How I related to that statement. She told me she needed a support group. I felt the nudge. Have you ever felt that nudge before? Do you believe in divine intervention? Let me take a minute to tell you about one of my experiences with divine intervention.
I sat with my parents many years ago in Temple for Rosh Hashanah and my eyes were welling up with tears as I looked around at all the families. I felt myself drifting off to lala daydream land. I started dreaming about having a family sitting in Temple with me with my parents. I asked the question “Why can’t my husband just be sitting here in this Temple?”
Let’s fast forward to Yom Kippur. Yom Kippur is ten days after Rosh Hashanah. They are both high holy days in the Jewish Religion and I was headed back to Temple with my parents for Yom Kippur. Sitting a few rows behind me was my husband Seth (I didn’t know that yet). I got up to go to the bathroom and thankfully Seth followed me and gave me his business card. When I told my friend at work this story, she told me that G-d couldn’t have been knocking harder on my head. “A good looking, nice Jewish man came up to you at Temple and gave you his card after you asked for your husband to be at your Temple and you don’t see the sign?” You see not only was I granted my wish, I also needed my friend to point it out to me. Let’s just say after our first date I think Seth and I both would tell you that we saw our future together. Let’s fast forward to fifteen years of marriage and three wonderful children. Divine intervention at it’s best. Don’t downplay the power of praying for what you desire! Ask and you shall receive.
My point is that I believe in divine intervention strongly. I always have. I knew when my mother suggested a group for mothers that she was spot on. I know hearing my friend say she needed a group was that new little nudge that I needed. I hear the message loud and clear. I don’t need Stephanie to scold me this time about G-d knocking on my head. I did need her to knock on my head about Seth.
Dads I don’t want you to think I have forgotten about you. I know you are stressed too. This first group is for mothers. I am going to start there.
Here is what I want to share with you all. I know that you are stressed. I know that you need other mothers to talk to. I know that you are probably like me and don’t plan enough mom’s nights out to feel satisfied. How would you feel knowing that there was a weekly group that you could attend with other mothers to talk about whatever is stressing you out? I would like to build in a weekly group for you to come to. I would like to make a Mama Monday Meet Up every Monday. I want us to share our stress. I want us to talk to one another. I want us to give each other advice. I haven’t thought about if I am going to do any local ones in person. For now, we are going to start on Zoom. I am going to give you a date and time when this will begin, and you can join whenever you want to and whenever your schedule allows. I invite you to come with whatever is stressing you out and to have a safe place to share your stressors. I hope you will come. I hope you will invite your friends.
Please feel free to comment and let me know what topics you would like covered. Please feel free to let me know what you are looking for as a mother from this group. What would be most helpful to you? I want to help! I’m here for you all. I hear your stress. I will continue with the blog, vlog, and upcoming podcast in my attempts to help you. This is yet another idea that I would like to run with. As the ideas come, I will keep going with them.
Mondays: Whinypaluza Mama Monday Meet Ups – coming!
Wednesdays: Whinypaluza Wednesday new blog and vlog come out.
Fridays: Whinypaluza Family Friday Podcasts – coming!
Laughing, Learning, Loving,
Rebecca Greene, LCSW-R