When I’m with other people for too long, I get exhausted. A wave of “I just need to go home” washes over me and, unfortunately, ruins the fun. I used to get so mad at myself for this, but over time I’ve realized that punishing myself only makes me feel worse. There was no point in torturing myself every hangout instead of just accepting who I am.
So, instead of getting upset, I set a boundary with myself for how long I can spend with my friends. Boundaries can be very hard to navigate, but they end up benefitting everyone. My friends don’t have to deal with me being tired and I don’t have to feel incredibly awkward as I try to end the hang out. The way to deal with boundaries is to try and make them positive. You’re not losing something, you’re gaining a better relationship with whoever you set boundaries with.
Friendship should be mutually beneficial, and in my experience, that comes from boundaries. Whether it’s topics we don’t talk about or how long we’re together, boundaries keep our friendships healthy. While I’m not always perfect, any little bit helps.
That’s also something that keeps a friendship healthy, understanding that no one is perfect. No one is going to be exactly who you need them to be. I have numerous faults and make tons of mistakes, and my friends understand that. A good friend will accept them and set boundaries to accommodate them. That’s another way to look at boundaries, as an accommodation. When people set boundaries, it’s them trying to accommodate both parties. That’s why I don’t really mind boundaries. Even if they suck.
Boundaries do seem uncomfortable at first. But give them some time. Eventually, they will benefit everyone.
Until Next Time,
Ella Greene
ABOUT THE AUTHOR:
Ella Greene is a young writer from Buffalo, New York who writes Teenage Tuesday and has had poetry featured in numerous journals including Maudlin House and BlazeVox. Ella is a senior in high school and is involved in numerous clubs including Broadcast club, STUCO, Rising Electorette, Yearbook, Drama Club, a
