Almost every time I drive a car, I end up crying. It’s just so hard to constantly have to correct and criticize yourself. I know everyone doesn’t do that, but I feel like I have to. I think that if I don’t, I won’t improve. Every turn, stop, and pull to the curb becomes this intricate process that I must do perfectly or else I won’t pass my test. Never mind the fact that almost everyone at my school drives and they are definitely not thinking this much. I have to.
That’s probably why I failed my first driver’s test. It was absolutely crushing to get the news (and I still think I should’ve passed) but at least I’m a better driver now. Trying to get myself to keep practicing and not completely give up felt like being both a shepherd and a sheep. The only reason I was successful was because my parents forced me to keep practicing.
Practicing sucked. Stopping all the work I was doing to go drive around the block did not seem like a fair trade. Never mind the whole crying thing and getting yelled at the entire time. But, how else was I going to improve?
My mom would tell me to just tell myself it was fun. I just decided to get through it. Honestly, I still don’t know if it was worth it. Maybe the hours were better spent studying. Maybe I’m supposed to learn that being a human matters just as much as being a resume. Some things just suck. Not everything has to have some great lesson to it. This blog is laced with all the ennui I still feel about driving. Some things are just mountains we have to climb, even if we’re not a different person on the other side. For me, driving is one of those things.
Until next time,
Ella Greene
ABOUT THE AUTHOR:
Ella Greene is a young writer from Buffalo, New York who writes Teenage Tuesday and has had poetry featured in numerous journals including Maudlin House and BlazeVox. Ella is a senior in high school and is involved in numerous clubs including Broadcast club, STUCO, Rising Electorette, Yearbook, Drama Club, and WISP.
