Let’s talk about the busiest week! While most of you are counting down to Christmas, I am in the middle of my festivities! It is Hanukkah time. What does Hanukkah look like this year? This is the most different Hanukkah that we have ever had.
My husband decided to fly to Florida for work and missed two nights of Hanukkah. In his defense he did ask me first. His nice wife said it was okay to go away during Hanukkah. The not so nice wife was wondering why she said yes! I know you all reading this understand the difference between the two wives. It just depends on my mood, and I have a lot of moods.
We did face time Seth both nights while we lit the menorah, said the blessings and gave the girls presents. Max isn’t home yet anyway so why not have Seth travel for work too. I was going to wait for Max to get home to celebrate Hanukkah, but I realized that it isn’t fair to the girls. Lillie saying, “No way, are we really waiting,” melted my mama heart to want to give her 8 nights of Hanukah like I always have. The Hanukkah mama fairy is hard at work over here. With Max away at school and Ella going away next, Lillie still deserves to have her 8 nights of fun when they are both away at school. Don’t get ahead of yourself (I tell myself this all the time). I still have my girls home with me!
I spent most of yesterday wrapping. I wrapped all the girls presents that are here. The problem is that gifts keep rolling in and I will just have to keep wrapping. I just got home to get more gifts at the door that I am going to go wrap up after I finish this! When you order gifts, it tends to say something like, “Arrives before Christmas.” What these people don’t realize is that I need it for Hanukkah not Christmas. There should be a delivery tab that only Jewish people can hit in order to get presents in time for Hanukkah. Do you need this for Hanukkah or Christmas? The bad news is Hanukkah is earlier next year. The good news is Hanukkah is after Christmas the following year! Just go with the flow of life is my latest motto that seems to be working well for me.
We started Hanukkah with Seth away and Max still at school. I am counting down the days to go get Max and bring him home for an entire month. I don’t think I could be more excited! My greatest gift is the days we are all together!
Max’s gifts are unwrapped all over the place. “It’s okay, it will get done,” I tell myself frequently about everything. There are bigger issues going on in my family and friend’s lives than unwrapped gifts. Keeping things in perspective is an awesome tool for moms during the holidays. The house doesn’t need to be clean. The dishes don’t need to be done. I have laundry baskets all over. Everyone’s safety and health are what truly matter. Remember this and it will keep you sane. Also, Max isn’t home yet, and he doesn’t care if his gifts are wrapped yet! In fact, the kids have told me many times that they don’t care if their gifts are wrapped. But I care!
I sat down on the couch last night thinking of everything that I still needed to do.
I need to bake.
I need to shop.
I need to order cards (I want to). I like sending cards because I look at them as a hug that I send to my family and friends.
I need to finish buying gifts for everyone.
Need is the wrong word – I still want to….
I really want to have a Hanukkah meal when we are all together. I was just asked what we do for dinner for Hanukkah. The traditional meal includes latkes and donuts for dessert. I add chicken and vegetables to all the fried food. It’s all about oil and frying things up for Hanukkah.
My mind was racing as I sat on the couch last night. I know you all know that feeling. The funny thing is, I am not taking it as seriously as I used to. Max going away to college has completely changed me. All this stuff that I am wrapping – not as important. All the stuff that needs to get done – not as important. The value of being together – that is where the value is.
Every woman I talk to is overwhelmed with their list. My amazing dentist said to me this morning, “Now that our kids are older, aren’t they supposed to help us with all of this holiday stuff!” We all laughed. My kids are so busy with school, homework, and activities. The Hanukkah fairy over here will just keep working. I love if you are getting your kids involved to help you. I love when I see families decorating and cooking together. The most I have gotten from my children so far is cleaning up their wrapping paper mess which is new this year! I’ll take it and run with it!
Every mom I talk to has so much to do this week. The funny thing is that we act surprised every year. One of my friends just totally dislikes Christmas and what it has become. Too much commercialism and I want us all to slow down and remember that we want to teach our children to value being together. The perfect gift is a present that you can all do together! I love seeing all the families’ taking trips and doing excursions instead of buying all the stuff.
I often wish Hanukkah was on Christmas just so that I could have all that time to prepare and so that all the gifts arrive on time.
I would love to be prepared and have everything wrapped and listed and ready. However,
It doesn’t matter what gifts are here (show them a photo).
It doesn’t matter if the gifts are all wrapped (throw them in a bag).
It doesn’t matter if you pick the perfect gift (it’s the thought that counts).
It doesn’t matter if it fits (return it and get a different size).
It just doesn’t matter.
Your health.
Being together.
Your safety.
Your family and friends.
Your time.
Your home.
The food you put on the table (that doesn’t need to be the perfect meal).
You will always have a list. You will always have a ton to do. This is life and we need to learn how to ride the mama waves as gracefully as we can.
My husband is home from Florida safely. Now to get my son home safely. Wishing you all a safe and healthy holiday season.
Laughing, Learning, Loving,
Rebecca Greene, LCSW-R
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